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Option38.com > Comics > 80s : You Is HERE
COMICS-Punisher Annual #2 (June 1989)
Punisher Annual #2 kinda' answers that question. As part of the big "Atlantis Attacks" theme that ran in all the annuals, it's a loose tie-in to the whole thing. For once, Punisher is brought out of the "Punisher-verse" and into the Marvel Universe. The story starts out at a pet shop. Moon Knight, in his civilian guise of Marc Spector is hanging out the shop and notices a man eat a gerbil! That's enough to spur Moon Knight's curiousity and get him on the case! I mean, if a man eating a gerbil isn't a call for someone to jump into his outlandish costume and get to the bottom of things, I don't know what is. Usually the hook for the hero is something like a bank robbery, alien invasion, natural disater or even the obligatory burning building. But a guy eating a gerbil? That's trouble. Meanwhile, Punisher busts into a junkie flat and beats up some druggies. They're moving a new drug, tied to someone named Leona Hiss. With two degrees of separation, Moon Knight's mysterious gerbil-eater is also tied into Hiss. Thus, the two heroes meet on a rooftop while working the case. It's a weird, yet logical moment, too. Moon Knight drops out of his helicopter and spots Punisher. He walks up, introduces himself and they shake hands. Whoa... in the world of comics, where two heroes always beat the crap out of each other in some misunderstanding before the eventual team-up, this is a huge rarity. Since Moon Knight was a pastiche for Batman, the rest of the story plays out like a late 80's fanboy's wet-dream: a Punisher/Batman team-up. They track the drug ring and the gerbil-eater to Leona Hiss's mansion. Populated by armed snake-men, Hiss is trying to distribute a drug that turns normal losers into reptilian losers. Hiss is even revealed to be a pseduonym for the Viper. This is where things get weirder: Viper is running around the mansion, cracking her bullwhip and demanding the snake-men all call her "Madame Viper". Okay, so there's a hot broad in skin-tight leather with a whip, ordering men to say her name. Uh huh... I sense some issues in the creative team. While I don't share the subconscious S&M fixation, I have to admit that Viper is probably Marvel's smokingest villainess. She's not rendered too well here, but she's probably high on my list of "Supervillain Chicks I'd Have a Tough Time Fighting". Anaconda or Moonstone? They're getting zapped. Viper? Rarrrr. I'd have to sit down for awhile before I zapped her. I can type that without sounding too juvenile, can't I? Right...back to Punisher and Moon Knight. They storm the mansion and take out all the snake-men. We're constantly reminded that snakes are cold-blooded and since it's nighttime, they're not moving too fast and are easy pickins' for the heroes. Viper executes a flying head-scossors on Punisher and injects him with the snake-drug! Things get even weirder: Punny goes into a rage and quotes Arthur Brown! He picks up his machine gun, begins blasting eveyrone and hollers "I am the god of hellfire and I bring you.."
Luckily, Moon Knight happened to bring along his De-Hypnotizing/Snake Drug Antidote throwing stars. He shines them in Punisher's face and is able to subdue him. Viper escapes in all the fuss, via a conveinent rocketship, out back. The cops arrive, while Moon Knight and Punisher fly away. Punisher sleeps off the snake-drug in Marc Spector's mansion for two days, before waking up, thanking Spector and leaving. Sooo...what the heck did they accomplish? They busted up a mansion, wasted a buncha' druggies and let Viper escape. Both guys seemed content with the outing, though. I guess they got the snake-drug off the streets, but you'd have to No-Prize up an explanation for that. Just didn't work... and I can see why Punisher was kept in his own corner. While he did play well with the others kids, it seemed awkward to have Punisher shoot up (and kill) a buncha' druggies, while Moon Knight leapt around the mansion. Thanks for dropping by, Punny. See you next company-wide crossover! But that's not all! You also get TWO back-up features and some shitty pin-ups! The first back-up focusses on Punisher's pal, Microchip and his efforts to save his favorite Vietnamese restaurant from extortion. Chip's just as calculating as the Punisher, if not as flashy. One example: he uses a trusty bulletproof briefcase to hide behind the bad guys' barrage. The second story is a complete waste, as it's entitled "Punisher's Fighting Techniques". It's nothing but 8 pages of Punisher punching and kicking people, with inane dialogue. It's drawn by Jim Lee, who was still a year or two away from super-stardom.
Weird book and one that you can find cheap, just about anywhere. I actually tried selling one on eBay a few months ago. If you were one of the 8 people who viewed my auction, have re-considered and would like to buy it, look me up! This is definitely some unexpected, off-the-wall stuff.
Summary: Punisher and a Batman rip-off team up to fight gerbil-eaters and a dominatrix. Microchip gets
some Vietnamese food. Plus, Conan and a non-sequitur reference to Arthur Brown!
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The book closes out with another installment of "The Saga of the Serpent Crown". A continuing "continuity porn" piece that
ran in all the Atlantis Attacks annuals. This episode covers
the knock-off Cobra Crown and how it was used by Thoth-Amon to fight Conan and his buddies. Crom!
There's also a connection to the Egyptian villain, Set/Seth, who would pop-up to battle Thor every so often.
While the Serpent Crown was pertinent to the Atlantis Attacks crossover, it has nothing to do with the Punisher.
In fact, Conan, The Cobra Crown and Seth had nothing to do with it, either! Ehh.. this was probably just a
continuity freak's labor of love.