COMICS-(WHEN HYPERTIMES COLLIDE)

"Big Heap Fightin'"
Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear... namely, the 70's, when it was still admissible to use the word "Injun". This month, the Hypertime Arena comes to us from Jacobs Field, the stage for this battle of stereotypical Native American dudes- Apache Chief and Wahoo McDaniel!

Apache Chief was added to the Superfriends cartoons in the 70's, "coincidentally", the same time as Black Vulcan (a black guy), Samurai (an Asian guy) and Rima the Jungle Girl (gasp...a WOMAN). Apache Chief had a few powers- one was to mutter his magic words and grow to immense proportions (umm.. I mean: "he'd get really tall"). He also had the powers to singlehandedly increase Native American stereotypes, talk incredibly slow in broken English, and stay warm in his tunic (even in outer space!). A long time TV-only character, Apache Chief has been a running joke among fans of DC Comics' Superfriends and Justice League. Strangely enough, he was loosely adapted into the print world of DC Comics- as "Manitou Raven" around 2002 in the "JLA" comic.

Over to the wrestling side, where "Chief" Wahoo McDaniel checks in as one of the most popular and succesful pro wrestlers of the late 20th century. After an NFL career with the Denver Broncos, New York Jets and Miami Dolphins, Wahoo made the switch to a full-time wrestler in the late 60's. Known as a legitimate tough guy, Wahoo headlined arenas all over the country up until his semi-retirement in the early 1990's. His stiff tomahawk chops were known to daze even the sturdiest of noggins. Respected by fans and wrestlers alike, Wahoo was even featured in Sports Illustrated in 2001. Sadly, he passed away in 2002.

Who would win in this clash of Native American icons? Sound the bell, bar the door and... run to the hills, 'cuz it's gonna' be war!! Inuk-chuk!

Tale o' the Tape- Apache Chief vs. Wahoo McDaniel
	Apache Chief	Wahoo McDaniel	Advantage
Headgear	headband	big ol' ceremonial headress	Wahoo
Belt	snazzy orange belt to hold up his tunic	NWA US Title, Florida Heavyweight Championship, many more	Wahoo
Biggest Nemesis	Giganta	Johnny Valentine	Wahoo
Lamest Nemesis	Toyman	Manny Fernandez	Apache Chief
Most Embarasssing Moment	Couldn't "enlarge" after buring self with coffee on "Harvey Birdman"	Getting "knocked out" by Gene Anderson's noggin in MACW	Apache Chief
Knock-offs/imitators	Running Eagle (his brother), JLA's Manitou Raven	WWF's Tatanka	Apache Chief
Best Match	Put Black Manta in a tree	Cage match against Magnum TA, 1985	Wahoo
Funniest Moment	Every time he was on screen	Smashing Professor Boris Malenko's dentures	Wahoo
Famous Partners/teammates	Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman	Mark Youngblood, Paul Jones, Jose Lothario	Apache Chief
Lamest partner/teammate	Aquaman	Greg Gagne	-push-
Trademark moves	Gets really big.	Tomahawk chop. Bleeds alot	Apache Chief
NFL connection	Looks like Redskins' mascot	Played for Broncos, Jets and Dolphins	Wahoo
Specialty Match	Fight-The-Other-Big-Person Match	Indian Strap Match	Wahoo
Mainstream recognition	Superfriends TV show	Featured in Sports Ilustrated several times. Numerous pro wrestling TV shows.	Wahoo
Weakness	Squaws. Drive-though windows with low clearance	Steel chairs	Wahoo
Native American "rank"	Chief (duh!)	Chief	-push-
Youngsters he helped train	Wonder Twins	Ric Flair, Ricky Steamboat	Wahoo

Final score: 5-10-2...as Wahoo beats Apache Chief like a drum (groooan). Apache Chief came...out from TV... Wahoo brought him pain...and misery! Of course, special referee for this match would be Boston Celtics legend "The Chief", Robert Parrish. Possibly even a special sponsorship from Redman Chewing Tobacco (grooooan). It should also be noted that the rough draft for this article was scribbled out on a Big Chief notepad (grooooooannn!).

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