COMICS-(WHEN HYPERTIMES COLLIDE)

DOG WARS! Just like cock-fighting is big in Mexico, here at Option38.com, dog-fighting is pretty spiffy. This month, we tracked down two very famous canine mascots. In one corner, we have the most recognizable mascot from the comics world- Krypto the Super Dog. In the other, we have the most recognizable mascot from the pro wrestling world- Matilda the Bulldog. Matilda would accompany the WWF's British Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid) to the ring. The Bulldogs won the Tag Team titles and are still considered one of the best teams in wrestling history. Krypto would assist Superboy in keeping Smallville clean of crime, and even followed Superboy into the 31st century. Additionally, Superboy/ Superman is considered one of the best comic heroes in history. Both were loved by kids the world over, and were mascots of almost invincible forces. Would it be a rout for the super powered spaniel? Read on, true believers!

Tale o' the Tape- Krypto vs. Matilda
	Krypto	Matilda	Advantage
Owner(s)	Superboy	Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith	Matilda (the Bulldogs had waaaay more parties than Superboy ever did)
Purpose	Helps Superboy fight crime	Mascot and "manager" of British Bulldogs	Krypto
TV exposure	1960's "Superboy" cartoons	WWF TV, from 1987-1989	Matilda
Contemporaries	Ace the Bathound, Streaky the Supercat, Comet the Super Horse, Ambush Bug	Damian the Snake, Frankie the Parrot, Ricky Steamboat's lizard, MINE	Krypto
Costume	Dog collar and Red cape	Dog collar and occasionally a Union Jack scarf	Krypto
Merchandise	Stuffed toy from DC Direct	Matilda doll, T-shirt, posters	Matilda
Helps out by:	Shooting heat vision from his eyes and flying.	Giving Dynamite Kid "advice" on how to execute a snap suplex	Krypto
Worst Crisis Faced	Sarcificed himself to save Superboy from lethal kryptonite (circa 1985)	Abducted by Bobby Heenan and the Islanders	Krypto
Fan Support	Forgotten and ridiculed for years (1980's-2000)	"Get Well Matilda" campaign, resulting in millions of cheesy cards.	Matilda
Replaced	Nobody	Capt. Lou Albano	Matilda
Replaced by	Krypto 2 (2001 version)	Winston	Krypto
Teams led	Legion of Super Pets	British Bulldogs	Matilda
Arch enemies	-none- (they were all Superboy's)	Bobby Heenan and WWF jobbers	Matilda
Favorite hang-out	The Doghouse of Solitude in outer-space	Pedestal at ringside	Krypto
Methods of attack	Bites, shoots eye-beams, attacks with paws	Slobbers	Krypto
Wrestlemanias experienced	-none-	2 (III and IV)	Matilda
Weaknesses	Kryptonite	Kibbles n Bits, fire hydrants	Krypto

Final score: a 9-8 squeaker for the Dog of Steel. This match would be under the time-honored "Kennel in a Cell" rules of pro-wrestling. Basically, a match where the entire ring is surrounded by a massive cage, or kennel. Midway into the match, Dynamite Kid would run-in, scale the top of the cage, rip open a panel, and deliver his patented flying headbutt onto Krypto. Dazed, the Super Spaniel would be on the receiving end of some serious slobbering from the English Mongrel. The two dogs would then roll around with a mat sequence, as the announcers scream "Dogfiiiiiiiight!!!". Davey Boy Smith would then arrive and toss a special kryptonite-laced glove to Matilda. Dynamite Kid would hold up Krypto, for Matilda to deliver the coup-de-grace. Krytpo would fight back the effects of Kryptonite and break Dynamite's hold.... allowing Matilda to errantly nail Dynamite with the loaded glove. The glove goes flying, and Krypto rolls up Matilda from behind, to score the pin! Afterwards, Streaky and Ace arrive to help clear the ring of the British contingent.

It's small solace for the wrestling fans, but believe me, a wrestler WILL win one of these things, shortly. It's all part of the long-term booking! Up next: the first ever Hypertime Arena 3-Way Dance, as the NFL gets involved!

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