COMICS-(WHEN HYPERTIMES COLLIDE)

"Have at Thee!!"
Lo, the fabled viking warriors of lore shall square off. This month we have Marvel Comics' own Thor and former pro rassler the Berzerker!

Before the dawn of modern civilization, Thor and the other Norse Gods were worshipped by the pillaging hordes of Scandinavian Vikings. They eventually faded away, but luckily the rights to Thor were picked up by Marvel Comics in the early 60's! Since then, the Mighty Thor has been vanquishing evil foes and protecting Midgard with his mighty hammer, big ass cape and goofy hat!

Before the dawn of 1993, the Berzerker was a feared presence of the squared circle. With his unorthodox tactics and wild behavior, the Berzerker was known for effortlessly tossing his opponents over the top rope. Originally known as the Viking, he terrorized the WWF for a short while before fading into obscurity....then popping up on WCW's Thunder in early 1998!

Tale o' the Tape- Thor vs. Berzerker
	Thor	Berzerker	Advantage
Biggest Accomplishment	Saved Midgard from Surtur and Ragnarok	Threw Kerry Von Erich over the top rope	Thor
Aliases	Sigurd Jarlson, Don Blake, Eric Masterson, Jake Foster	Nord the Barbarian, John Nord, Yukon John	Thor
Biggest Nemesis	Loki	Undertaker	Thor
Lamest Nemesis with jungleprint pants	Mongoose	"Superfly" Jimmy Snuka	Thor
Damsels bagged	Sif, Jane Foster, Brunnhilde the Valkyrie	presummably some rasslin' groupies	Thor
Teams	Avengers	Shiek Adnan Al-Kaissie's Army, Mr. Fuji's lackeys, the Lumberjacks	Thor
Catchphrase	"Forsooth!", "aye, verily"	"HUSS! HUSS!"	Berzerker
Other jobs	God of Thunder	Sells used cars in Minneapolis	Thor
Foreign Objects Used	Mjolnir the hammer	Giant pie-pan "shield", fake sword	Thor
Contemporaries	Captain America, Iron Man, Hulk	Kamala, Earthquake, Mr. Perfect	Thor
Lamest contemporary	Volstagg	Mr. Fuji	Thor
Big Puffy Boots	0	2	Berzerker
Trained by	Odin	Bruiser Brody	Berzerker
Average dialogue sample	"Thor will gladly tell you of the time he bested the Frost Giants. Aye, what victory songs were sung and ales were drank that day in Valhalla..."	"Yes, Master Fuji! I will rip his head off for you!"	Berzerker
Weakness	Being away from his hammer for 60 seconds	Being outside the ring for a 10 count	Thor
Been to other dimensions?	Yes	Possibly	-push-

Final score: 11-4-1 scores the Mighty Thor as the victor. Aye, thou shalt not find a finer foe to vanquish in such an erstwhile victory. Come, let us drink to the ascendary! For to thine victors, go thine prize. Aye, verily!

Drawing on his experience as "Yukon John", Berzerker's manager, Mr. Fuji would finangle this into a Lumberjack Match! Surrounded on all sides by their friends and foes alike-- guys like the Destroyer, Hercules, Hogun the Grimm, Beta Ray Bill,the British Bulldog, Skinner, the Bushwhackers and the worthless members of Code:Blue. Despite the 'jacks, this would get ugly, quick (although a mini-match on the outside between Volstagg and Typhoon would make the crowd happy). Not even run-ins by lame Thor impostors Thunderstrike and Drago would be enough to distract the Mighty Thor. One thunderous twirl of Mjolnir and one heinous lightning bolt later, the Berzerker would be a thing of memory....with the ring smelling of burnt hair, naturally.

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