Watchmen: Special Lights and Music Edition
For Those Who Can't Read...

After countless reprintings of the "Watchmen" Trade Paperback , it's nice that DC, Paramount and Warner have teamed up for yet another version; one that's easily viewable on a giant movie screen, has music, and requires no reading!

If you liked the Watchmen comics...errrr, graphic novel, then you'll probably like the movie. If you didn't like it... well you can probably figure out that version of the equation, Pythagoras.

All of the details and backstory of the "Watchmen Universe" are there. As soon as the lights go down, it's the audience's signal to pay attention, as they'll get a roughly 5-minute primer on the rich history, starting with the 1940's Minutemen and all the way up to Richard Nixon's fourth term in office.

Winners of the 2008 San Diego Comic-Con Masquerade... errr, it's the Minutemen

The final ending of the story is tweaked a bit, but it actually works well and feels more...symmetrical. The original comic book's giant alien squid seemed out-of-left field to me. The new cinematic ending ties things together a bit more. Keeps it sorta' "in the family"; instead of having a long, convoluted plot involving abducted scientists, a mysterious island and a Giant Frickin' Squid.

Also, I'm sure a lot of geeks will consciously or subconsciously cream themselves after seeing THE ultimate fanboy fantasy scene on the big screen: banging a hot chick in your Heromobile while she keeps her skin-tight black vinyl boots on. The whole thing only works if she keeps the boots on. It was an okay scene, until it included the stupid "joke" of switching on the flamethrower to simulate a climax. I heard a lot of audible groans in the theater at that point.

For casting....well, you really can't complain. Although Rohrschach's continual raspy whisper becomes grating after a few scenes. It actually inspired me and a buddy to do a "Talk Like Rohrschach/Christian Bale Batman Night" while screwing around at the local watering hole. Dan Deriberg/Nite Owl is presented well, as he's a dorky guy with a leftover 1970's haircut. Works well, because where does it say that every superhero has to be depicted in the "handsome bachelor role" like a Bruce Wayne? The Comedian comes off like the "Psycho Schneider from One Day at a Time" that he always reminded me of. Dr. Manhattan is on-hand, in all his buck-nekkid glowing blue glory. But since the character is about 90% CGI, it's not disturbing. Ozymandias seems like an evil corporate-raider version of David Bowie. Finally, both versions of the Silk Spectre actually look hot; something which didn't come off well in the comics.

With a cast of virtual unknowns, the audiences goes in with no previously conceived notions of each actor. If "Watchmen" does well, I'm sure all of the actors will be known in their ensuing roles as "Guy Who Played Ozymandias" or "Chick Who Played Silk Spectre", etc.

Dwayne F. Schneider gets EXTREME!

The "Watchmen" movie is similar to the Lord of the Rings movies in it's nature. Just as many scenes in those movies were meticulously translated from the Tolkien books, the same effect is in play, here. Dialgoue and angles in certain shots were liberated from panels of the comics. Even the bruises on Rorschach's unmasked face seemed to be identical to their original printed inspirations. In short, it was translated well. Just wait until the DVD and Blu-Ray Releases, which are slated to include additional scenes, plus the ommitted "Black Freighter" pirate comic.

So if you ever want to read "Watchmen" again, just save yourself some time and see the movie. Pretty much the same thing, only you'll get some music.

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