Cover Bands at the Bluebird Theater

Pull up the Covers

Went to a show last week that featured 3 separate cover bands:

The Nuns of Brixton
A Clash cover band who play in nun habits.
It Should Have Been Lars
Metallica cover band.
Appetite for Destruction
Guns n' Roses cover band; complete with costumes and Axl lookalike

Now, sure, just about every band ever put together has done covers at some point. When the members of [Your Favorite Band HERE] first hung out in school, prison, bars, garages, etc, they started off by doing covers. But there's a difference between doing a cover and actually doing an impersonation or straight-up knock-off. As it is, it's funny, because the members of these knock-off bands are all probably in other "real" bands... yet nobody wants to pay 20 bucks to see those bands play. You might pay a 5 or 10 cover charge to hear them play while you get shithammered at a bar; but to actually go out to a concert hall and see 'em? Probably not happening.

It's also funny because I don't suspect the members of these cover bands will ever break up due to "creative differences". If you're in a Clash tribute band, chances are you're really into the Clash and like playing those tunes. I don't think someone will show up at band practice and insist on doing a Blues Odyssey.

But hey, but enough of my yappin'... let's rock!

First up at the Bluebird were the Nuns of Brixton-- get it? As opposed to Guns of Brixton. See...they're nuns. I may be going too fast here, so I'll slow down and make sure you get it. See, they're nuns.

Nuns of Brixton

They were a five-piece emsemble and the habts soon became too hot for them. One of their guitarist kept removing his, between songs. The gimmick was a little weird, but as soon as I got over that, I thought: "hey, the Clash had some really cool stuff". Even the rather poppy "Pressure Drop" sounded great when played live. I'll give the band points for NOT playing exclusively the contents of "London Calling". The only thing that bothered me was the psuedo-English accent of the singer. He'd say stuff like: "I want to see some doncing" (as opposed to "dancing"). But considering the whole thing was humorous, I can't say I fault them.

Up next was THE Metallica cover band: It Should Have Been Lars. Their name alone is shit-tons of awesome. Not "Metal Militia","Whiplash", "Riders of the Lightning" or anything like that. But just the fact that it should've been Lars Ulrich who got crushed by a bus in 1986. "Lars" stole the evening for me and is now my favorite local band.

They all wore goofy looking wigs, but were a five-piece. I was puzzelled at first, but then realized that the FIFTH guy was supposed to be Dave Mustaine. Allright-- that made me spit my beer out.

They also wore specific "costumes". The bassist wore jeans n' a jean jacket with a Misfits t-shirt, just like all those pictures of Cliff Burton you've seen. The lead guitarist a black wife-beater like Kirk Hammett (but thankfully no hair net). The other guitarist, "Mustaine" wore a shirt-less jean jacket with black shirt underneath (including a red/orange haired wig). The singer wore... well, a "nerd" outfit at first which he soon shed for a more traditional "James" get-up.

The drummer kinda' looked Mario Van Peebles, though. Just part of their gimmick. Remember: in this alternate reality Lars croaked! Their backdrop? One single t-shirt clamped up on the curtain behind them. They also used their prized possession-- a pedal-activated smoke n' light machine.

Then the clincher: "James" didn't play an instrument, but strummed on a white Guitar Hero controller that looked like Hetfield's axe. During "The Four Horsemen", he held up cue cards for each of the Horsemen, a la Bob Dylan. They were also joined, onstage, for this number by an enthusiastic friend who was moshing/dancing around while riding a stick hobby horse. Add in plenty of non sequiturs, fun audience participation and Metallica tunes from the first 3 albums and you've got a Good Time.

"James" also kept saying the wrong city when he spoke to the crowd; usually he called us "Pueblo, Colorado". It would've been easy to write these guys off, but they did such a good job of playing the old Metallica stuff in a tongue-in-cheek manner, that I couldn't help but dig 'em. As expected, they ended their set with "Seek and Destroy", as "James" went out into the audience to get everybody to holler along. I was hoping he would've ran into me, as I would've hollered "Destroy and Seek"!! Yeah, yeah, ol' Lightning Wit is a day late again.

The last band, Appetite for Destruction, was kinda' sad in comparison. They did a better job of impersonating Guns n' Roses than ISHBL did for Metallica, but they were SERIOUS about it. Even sadder were the "old school fans" in the crowd-- guys in their 40's and 50's who still think it's okay to wear a jean jacket with a backpatch on it, in public. Yes, they all had mullets. Poor bastards probably haven't purchased any new music since 1994, when they picked up COC and Prong. Think of the "Original Fans" from the movie "Anvil".

I'll give them credit: Appetite had the costumes DOWN. Digital cameras were flashing like crazy as the band hit the stage. "Axl" emulated the real version's red Charles Manson shirt and bandana. He even kinda' looked like Axl and aped his distinctive mannerisms and stage moves. "Slash" of course had a tophat. "Duff" looked a little more like Vince Neil, while the drummer looked like a blonde Neil Young. I'd assume the drummer was supposed to be Steven Adler, as opposed to the more popular Matt Sorum. "Izzy Stradlin" had a pugdy face, but with his rags and mirror shades he pulled off the impersonation.

Guns n Roses cover band

As you woud expect, they opened up with "Welcome the Jungle". But what really soured me on these guys was their sound. Namely, the bass was turned up way too much. Think of all the signature GnR runes-- do you remember the thumping BASS? No, it's more about Slash's riffs and Axl's whines. With the bass blasting, it was almost impossible to hear BOTH guitars throughout the entire set.

It was also weird to hear them do GnR covers-- like "Live and Let Die", "Hair of the Dog", "Attitude" and even "Mama Kin" (complete with the intro line of "here's a song about your fuckin' mother"). At each point, the song was actually THREE levels removed from the orginal. A cover band doing a song that the original band covered. Almost makes the songs irrelevant.

More about the band, HERE: Appetite for Destruction. I like how their website clarifies that they're doing a tribute to Guns n' Roses from 1986 to 1993. Ahh, good to know. Although I'd hate to think that there's a GnR tribute band out there doing stuff from 1998 to 2011.

I also realized that while I've never been a big Guns n' Roses fan, I've seen them "live" (or covered) several times. The real thing in 1992, Velvet Revolver in 2007 (I'd completely forgotten about that), Slash last month and now this cover band. From crowd reactions at each show, I'd have to say that if the real Guns n' Roses ever did an official reunion, they'd do insane business. You know Rolling Stone (the mag), with their 25 year boner for GnR, would promote the hell out of it. Like me and Nirvana, I just wouldn't get it.

I'm still undecided on whether or not cover bands are worth it. I'd definitely see "Lars" again, but I'd like to see something else in addition. Maybe a "real" band on the same bill? The positive thing about a cover/tribute band is that it's all about the spectacle. These bands realy put the "show" element into their concerts. If I just wanted to listen to music at a loud level, I'd be better off sitting in my basement with headphones cranked. It's nice to get out and see someone make excellent use of the visual aspect of a concert.

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