"I was a Pittsburgh Pirates Groupie"
March 13-19 was once again my annual trip to Spring Training in Florida. This year I stayed in the same hotel for all six nights on Clearwater Beach and caught a few games. Unlike previous years, I wasn't on the road too much. Just hung out on the beach, drank alot of beer, went jetskiing, enjoyed the female scenery and heard way too many Jimmy Buffett songs. Did make it over to see an old timers' game at the Phillies new stadium, the BlueJays' spring home, and a Pirates home/away doubleheader roadtrip.

I realized that Spring Training is the "Magical Land of Baseball Card Photos". Nowadays, action shots are more common, but take a look at your old baseball cards, where the player is posing for the camera. Then look at the background in that picture. Blue skies, green fields, perfect lighting. You almost expect to see Bambi, Papa Smurf and Thumper waving to the camera. Looks so nice, you want to drop into James Earl Jones Voice and tell Ray about the purity of baseball. Spring Training games are like that, and that's where 80% of old timey baseball card photos were taken.

The BlueJays' joint is probably the best place to get autographs. Wide, spread out area by the bullpen, where there's not alot of pushing and shoving. I was only down there for about 30 minutes and about half of the team obliged. Including Cy Young winner Roy Halladay. Although Orlando Hudson was kind of a jerk, demanding people grovel before him. BlueJays also score points for bringing along LaBatt's Blue!

I spent St. Patrick's Day as a Pittsburgh Pirates groupie. I drove down to Bradenton to watch the Pirates host the Phillies, then followed the team down to Sarasota for an evening game at the Reds' field. I wasn't the only guy to do this, since I saw many familiar faces in the seats at Sarasota. At the Reds' place I met a guy from Northern Virginia who was in his late 40's and had always wanted to come to a Pirates Spring Training game. Nice, intelligent guy who flew in for a conference in Orlando. He had an off-day and decided to be a groupie, as well. We spent over an hour talking about all things Pirates, and branched out into the Clinton Portis/Champ Bailey situation (since I'm from Denver and he's just outside of DC). Had alot of laughs and downed some green beer. It's strange, I go to several games by myself, but I always find someone cool to gab with, and I never get lonely.

• The Pirates gave out freebie green hats for all the fans at their afternoon game. The team wore 'em, too. After winning both games that day, I'm surprised the team took them off for Thursday's games. Thought baseball was all about superstitions. The green hats were a good way to spot the fans who did the doubleheader/groupie bit.
   
• At the afternoon Pirates game, I met two geezers from the town where I was born--Elizabeth, PA. They knew all about River Road, St. Michael's and Route 51. They were blown away that some guy from Denver knew all about Penny's Hill. Now there's some irony.
   
• Kris Benson started the afternoon/Bradenton game. Pirates fans were hopeful it would be his LAST start for the Bucs, considering the guy's rumored to be on the way out. Just think of all those great Benson memories... like the time he ... err, howabout that one game, where.... nah.. or maybe when he... shit, remember that time he blew out his shoulder?! Which time was that?!
   
• Kent Tekulve was in the Pirates dugout as a special instructor to the pitchers. I think Dave Parker and Manny Sanguillen were also around. We Are Fam-a-lee. That's an added bonus for Spring Training games: clubs bring back some of their old farts for a few days.
   
• Discovered that Milk Duds taste much better at sea level. Whenever I pick up Milk Duds in Denver, they're rather tough and each Dud takes about 2 minutes to chew. Maybe it's the altitude or Florida's climate, but the sea level Milk Duds I downed where actually SOFT. We're talking Reese's peanut buttery soft. I could blow through the whole box in record time.
   
• With it being St. Patrick's Day and all, the stadium played Irish songs between innings. By the eighth they had run out of traditional tunes, so they slapped out U2.
   
• On Sunday the 14th , at the Phillies old timer's, errrrr.."Legends of Baseball" Game. Jim "Mudcat" Grant hit on my ma.
   
• "Legends" is apparently anybody who ever wore a uniform. How else do you explain for the presence of John Cerutti and Greg Blosser? Oh yeah, you've also got the "Kid who used to be on Home Improvement" along with Matthew and Gunnar Nelson.
   
• "Legends" game also featured local tackle-football heroes Mike Alstott and Joe Jurevicius. Joe Jurevicius is to Tampa what Ed McCaffrey is to Denver. Does he do cheesy McDonald's commercials down there as well? Both were interviewed by TV crews about the departure of John Lynch, which was a regional crisis in Tampa. I thought "wouldn't it be swell if the Donkies picked him up?". Got home, and yup, the Donkies DID pick Lynch up. See, not only does my presence guarantee division titles and and 35-8 record, I'm also a talent scout for the team.
   
• Strange, but the Reds apparently have huge problems with autograph hounds at Ed Smith stadium. Barry Larkin obliged a few fans, but the security personnel immediately broke out ther radios and barked "we have a situation! All units mobilize to the first base side!"
   
• Even stranger, there were 3 creepy autograph vultures prowling the grounds at Ed Smith. Each guy had either a HUGE backpack or binder. I consider myself an autograph nerd, but I just carry two baseballs and a pen. One feller handed Pirates reliever Mark Corey a stack of roughly 40 baseball cards to sign. Now, I'm not a hardcore baseball card guy anymore, but having 40 baseball cards of Mark freakin' Corey is not healthy.
   
• I scored great seats for all four games I attended. At the Reds game, I was seated amongst the scouts. Y'know, the guys with the radar guns.
   
• Weird thing about Clearwater- it's the official roadtrip destination of Ontario, Canada. It was uncanny, the number of Canadians and Ontario license plates I saw.
   
• For the first time I can recall, I envied the ushers. Long about the sixth inning of the Reds games, a curvy blonde walked around the concourse talking to all the geriatric ushers. She hung out (and THAT is an accurate visual) until the 8th or so.
   
• The Reds/Pirates game ended with firework for some reason. A St. Patrick's Day fireworks show? Whatever. When the show was over, Ray Charles' rendition of "America the Beatiful" played as exit music. It was an unexpected surprise and a nice way to end the baseball portion of my vacation.
   
• I took several pictures with the digital camera. The pics I took with the old 35mm camera looked like crap. I think I can safely ditch the 35mm from here on out. I'm thinking of adding a "dumb baseball pics" section to this site. If seeing stuff like Raul Mondesi in the on-deck circle appeals to you, let me know and I'll take it into consideration.
   

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