April 20, 2003- Thanks to digital cable's "MLB Extra Innings" package, I now have a chance to be a part of Pittsburgh Pirates' history while remaining about 1800 miles away. The Pirates are currently on pace to set the All-time baseball record for GROUND BALLS. (not just professional baseball... baseball, PERIOD). And I get to be there. Occassionally, Aramis Ramirez or Reggie Sanders will hit a POP FLY and attempt to screw up this record setting pace. Thankfully, Kenny Lofton, Jack Wilson and Pokey Reese are there to keep the pace intact. Coming off the bench, the Bucs are fortunate to have Rob Mackowiak and Abraham Nunez chipping in. This is one offensive record that even the pitchers can contribute to. It may be a long season, but if the Pirates remain focussed, the record should fall sometime in late July.

The first two weeks of the Pirates season were not without their cool moments. The Pirates played the Phillies over the first weekend, and both teams were decked out in their 70's uniforms. Nobody really noticed that the Phillies were in throwback uniforms, however. With the Pirates' bright yellow jerseys and beehived hats, it was hard to notice anything else. The Phillies were pushed aside and were sorta like the bass player in the Village People (what? there was a BAND behind the Village People?)

When the Pirates finally arrived home, last Monday, they had a nice little ceremony to commemorate Ralph Kiner. Ralph received a strange bronze casting of his hands and bat in PNC Park, and he also received a special t-shirt and program. The following is the actual transcription of Ralph's speech to the PNC Park crowd:

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Thank you. All these years that I played here, of course, we didn't have one of the great teams of baseball. We did have great fans. People have often asked me: "how was it to play with a team that didn't win alot of games?" And there were some benefits. When we were on the road, we never had to play the bottom of the ninth inning. And here at home, everybody came to the ballpark in the bottom half of the second. Cu'z they knew I wasn't gonna bat in the first inning.

"Coming to Pittsburgh and playing here was the culmination of my dream as a young player and young boy. And rather than Pittsburgh, we opened the season in St. Louis, played the Cardinals and took a train from St. Louis to Pittsburgh. It was a pretty long ride. We got to Pittsburgh on Monday morning about 10 o'clock. We got off the train, and I came from California, where at that time they didn't have smog or whatever. (it's changed since then) I got to the city of Pittsburgh and it was like midnite. I went to the hotel, checked in there and we had a workout at the field. I went to Forbes Field, walked into that ballpark, having never seen it before. I looked at the left field fence- 365 feet- about five feet from the left field line was a scorebaord about 30 feet high. On top of that scoreboard was a clock with incidentally never told the correct time anyways. I looked at that center field, 416 feet, and wanted to call my agent and say "How Could you do this to me??!!". Fortunately he did it to me and I was able to have the greatest years of my life playing for you fans here in Pittsburgh and being a part of one of the greatest cities of all time."

"Later on, of course I moved to Chicago and then to Cleveland and fortunately stayed in baseball throughout my entire life. I'm still able to broadcast games with the Mets and its a pretty wonderful life for me. When I heard about the fact that there was gonna be a possibilty that Pittsburgh would not be a major league city... I want to congratulate the fact that Mr. McClatchy kept the city, here, in this town. It's one of, and always will be, one of the great cities in our United States."

"This has been wonderul honor for me, to be able to come back. To have my family here, and to be a park of this wonderful ballpark. I want to thank you all for all the great years, all the good moments and the adulation I got here in this town. It was the thrill of my life and I'll always remember that."
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This was an educational speech. While listening to Ralph, I learned that the city of Pittsburgh was once in danger of MOVING! Wow, I've heard the theories of San Francisco breaking off... even the theories of Africa floating into India... but I never knew that the city of Pittsburgh was going to actually MOVE! Kevin McClatchy saved Pennsylvania from a geographic catastrophe. Anyways, nice way to keep in touch with the Pirates' past.

Funniest treat of the Bucs' Opening Day was Manny Sanguillen - Guest Commentator! In case you're not familiar, Manny was one of the most popular Bucs of the 70's. He always had a big grin and was one of the most jovial guys in all of baseball. Manny's English has always been a bit choppy, and while color man (and former teammate) Steve Blass could understand him, the rest of us needed a translation. Even my TV's closed captioning had trouble picking up the guy. I was able to translate that Manny was there to tell us about his bobble-head doll night. Chico Escuela lives!

Seeing Eye Singles
I was surprised to discover that Paulie Walnuts from the Sopranos isn't a part of EPSN's "Baseball Tonight" show. Turns out it was just Bobby Valentine

...||... I've never been a huge Rockies fan, but I'm now a Clint Hurdle fan. I went to the Rockies' "Off-season Hot Stove" back in January. It was basically an open forum for season ticket holders to talk to the team's brain trust. Hurdle was actually a great speaker and I thought to myself: "I'd work for this guy". One whiny fan complained about the lack of player autographs at Coors Field. Hurdle answered that he would personally make an effort to sign more autographs. First Rockies game I went to this year- there was Clint Hurdle signing autographs. Some managers might forget something like that over three months

....||... Best kept secret at Coors Field: the $9.00 left field handicapped seats, just over the wall. Not only are these front row seats with lots of room, but you can actually buy a Coke for 75 cents! Yes, 75 cents for a 20 ounce Coke at a Major League ballpark. These seats have their own handicapped facilities and on the way to shitter, you can stop at the employee vending machines. Same price as any other vending machine!

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