SPORTS-(BRONCOS)
December 23rd- The Broncos threw a party and the Niners were invited. As I'm sure you've
heard, this game was the Last Ever Home Broncos Home Game Unless The Raiders Fuck Up And Lose To
Carolina Tomorrow. Since this game is just a little bit different, today's recap will be
just a little bit different.
First off, let's get the game out of the way. Ed MCCaffrey broke the Broncos' single season
reception mark, with 101, breaking Lionel Taylor's old
AFL 100 mark. Rod Smith also snagged his 100th and set the Broncos' single
season receving yardage mark. McCaffrey also set the NFL record for "Most AssKickings in
a Season". If you've ever seen McCaffrey, you know that everytime dude catches a pass,
dude gets an imediate asskicking. I think Cris Carter holds the official NFL single
season catch record, but McCaffrey's is more impressive, due to the sheer number
of helacious shelleackings dished out.
It had the feeling of a homecoming game. Mike Anderson ran over some more dudes to
set the new Bronco rookie mark of exactly 1500 yards. Probably the best rookie campaign in
Bronco history, and one that should land him the Rookie of the Year. I know Rick Mirer won this
award once upon a time, but it'll still be a nice achievement. Rumors are that
the Bronco staff will switch Anderson to fullback next year, with the impending departure
of Howard Griffith to free agency. It's been a heck of a year for the old Marine, no matter
what happens.
38-9 is your final score. South Standers were shown holding up wooden seats as the Broncos
circeld the field for what may be the final time, ever. Wooden seats? Where the hell did those
come from? Last I checked, the South Stand bleachers were metal benches... where'd they get the
wood?
Like I said, the game was simply a footnote. The bigger event was the "last" game at Mile
High. Seeing as how all the recent TV nostalgia has gotten me reminiscing.. I'm trying to
recall all the crazy shit and nifty times I've had in the place.
As it's detailed elsewhere in this site, I arrived in Denver in 1978 at age 4. I wasn't
a Bronco fan until about sixth grade, so Mile High was just a goofy landmark for me.
I think it was 1982. I was actually out in public in a Cub Scout shirt and went to
a Denver Bears game. Had to have been the first time I'd ever been in there. I don't
remember jack about the game.. all I remember is playing tag in the concourse and not
being allowed up to the third level. My mom had reluctantly given me 5 bucks to spend that
night. I passed on a hot dog and bought a Denver Bears pennant for 3 bucks. I pocketed the
other 2 bucks as profit.
About two years later, I finally saw a professional football game. I use that term loosely,
because it was a USFL game. The Denver Gold got the shit kicked out of them by some unknown
team.. I want to say the Oakland Invaders. Coolest moment was all the pre-game hype...
they even dropped the game ball in via parachute. It was pretty damn hot and I was sitting in the
fifth level of the North Stands with my brother and dad. We amused ourselves by watching a
drunk in front of us making a paper airplane. Dude spent the entire game making this airplane.
he finally "launched" it in the 4th quarter.... it went three rows down and did a nosedive.
After the game was over, the stadium started to
fill up, because Alabama was giving a concert as a free bonus. Believe me, 90 degree weather
listening to "Play Me Some Mountain Music" while being surrounded by drunk hillbillies
was NOT a great first impression for me.
1988 came.. umm, about four years later. This was the big transition summer for me, between
Middle (Junior) High and High School. I knew the dreaded football two-a-days lay ahead
for me in early August, so July 30th was, in my mind, my last big hurrah for the summer
and for my goof off days. It was a big day for my big brother, too.. because he was taking
me to see Van Halen's Monsters of Rock. Not my first concert, but perhaps the biggest
musical "event" I ever went to. This was back in the old days of heavy metal...when spandex
was considered cool and preachers would stand on soapboxes outisde the show, warning us to
"repent! it's not too late to save your soul!"
We sat through Kingdom Come and got helacious sunburns on our legs. We were sitting in the
500 section of the North Stands, again, and were prime targets for the sun. Some stripper chic
walked up the steps and said "oooo..you guys got it good", slapping both of our thighs. My bro
was aroused.. I was in pain.
Metallica absolutely stole the show for us. For years, my brother would ask me, "Hey, what was
THE Monsters of Rock moment?" To which, we would both answer in unison "I've got something to
sayyy...I raped your mother today!!!" Funny, but after that show, my taste for pop/hair metal
bands started to go away. Sitting through nine hours of Kingdom Come, Dokken, Scorpions and
Van Hagar will do that to ya. At the time, it was quite the experience.
Eventually, my dad scored some Bronco tickets, in the fall of 1989. Appropriately
enough, it was Broncos vs. Steelers. We sat way up in the West Stands, in the 500 section
above the South endzone. The Broncos rolled that day and a drunk Mexican woman next to us
was still screaming and yelling in the 4th quarter. She kept shouting "Wooo! go, John!"
.. Gary Kubiak had been in at QB since midway in the third... we didn't have the heart to
tell her.
He scored a few more tickets for me in 1990. We went all out
one weekend and got 50 yard line tickets about four rows off the
field, for that year's Steelers game. We were right behind the
Steeler bench and got to hear Joe Greene say "FUCK" to his
defensive linemen. I got a bit of a chill, finally seeing Joe Greene
after all those years. This game was also noteworthy because it was Shannon
Sharpe's first catch. He came into the game in the second, lined up at wideout and
caught a 10 yard bullet from Elway. That was it.. he then went bck to the bench. I remember
talking to the dudes next to us saying "alright, that was Sterling's lil brother". For some
reason, this started my Shannon Sharpe connection.
We got a few more tickets that year, including the final game of the awful 5-11 1990 season.
It was Sammy Winder's last game and the Broncos beat the Packers. We also met South Stand
legend JEFF that day. JEFF was this fanatic dude who sat at the top of the aisle in section AA
of the South Stands. JEFF was awesome. He'd stomp on the floor and yell "1, 2,3", to which
EVERYONE in AA would respond with "DEFENSE" and stand up. We were thinking, "damn, this is
the dude who starts the wave!" He also told us how to smuggle beer into the game... put
it in a Kool Aid jug/dispenser and bring your own paper cups.
Shit, this is taking longer than I thought...
We got season tickets in 1991 and I finally started to feel welcome in the heap of
concrete. Most vivid memory from that year was seeing
Mike Croel blindside Neil O'Donnel on a Sunday night game. In the Chargers game,
I was looking through binoculars at the North endzone, when it seemed as if
Dennis Smith suddnely grew four feet taller, as he tipped a John Friesz
pass that was intended for the endzone.
That same year was the amazing Houston playoff game (which, nobody less than
John Elway described as one of the best Mile High Stadium moments)...
Seeing Keith Traylor line up in the backfield to block for Greg Lewis' TD run.
Calling Warren Moon a "PUSSY!" as he called a time out, seeing that both
Atwater and Smith were lining up to blitz.
I was yelling so much that my throat was sore for two days after. Throughout that year, I had
erected a shrine of sorts on my basement wall. I would cut out the Monday headline and
tack it up with my tickets. That poor wall still is recovering from the barrage of thumbtacks
I pushed into it.
We also came up with our pattented Simon Fletcher sack call. Everytime Simon
sacked someone (which was quite ALOT in those days), we'd freakout and
yell "Simon Sez, sit yo' ass DOWN!!"
I attended at least one game a year after that. In 1992, I
worked as an usher and got to see a game against the Giants. In 93, we
saw them punk the Steelers and witnessed a shocking loss to the Bucs.
94, I went with a bunch of drinking buddies from work, to see a sloppy game
with the Seahawks. 1995, I froze my ass off with my cousin Ronnie, as the Chiefs
scored a win in the famous "Elway goes to THE GLOVE" snow game.
okay..almost there. In 1996 I won a radio promo for a pre-season game against Carolina. I was
so geeked... then I got the tickets. Yup, back up to the North Stands, again, with seats in the
VERY LAST ROW. When people started to clear out in the 4th, I sat on the top of my chair and
leaned back against the wall. CRACK. Next thing I know, I look down and see asphalt about
400 feet below me. That was it, I was voting for a new stadium.
1996 was another season ticket year for me. Highlight of that year was the goal line stand
against the Bears, and another game where my Dad got "lost" leaving the stadium. He got on the
wrong bus and called me at home, three hours later, from the middle of Englewood...about
15 miles from where we were supposed to be. Official transcript of call was something like this:
"Hey...I got on the wrong bus... come get me. I gotta pee.. bye!"
Of course, I was there for some big games, too... but you can research NFL Films for
exact details of those. Bengals in 97, Chargers in 96, Chiefs in 91, Raiders in 91, Ravens in 96,
Seahawks in 99. Look em up. I'll never forget that Chiefs game, when Elway through across his
body, and the field, to hook up with Mark Jackson. From end to end, that ball traversed about
70 yards. The Raiders games were always great, especially the 91 version. Elway put his head
down and ran over Eddie Anderson to score a TD. Then, he got up and shoved the trash talking
Anderson!!
But it all started when my daddy took me to see the Steelers. It's not too poetic, like
a Yankee Stadium or a Wrigley, but to me that old concrete dump off of I-25 and Colfax
will always make me remember my dad (Umm, he's not DEAD, or anything..so don't worry about
looking for your Kleenex). It's not one of those "I remember squeezing my daddy's
hand as he took me to the game..." moments. I went to all the games with my dad when I was
about 16 or older. I remember "male bonding" time with my dad. I remember him
us driving down there, with him always telling me KC was going to win that year, and
I furiously tell him how WRONG he was. I remember him borrowing my binoculars for
one of his patented "crowd shots", and him sending me off to get nachos, hot dogs,
pretzels and (later), beer.
Mile High Stadium is special to me for that reason. While
NFL Films may do a bang up job of presenting the on-field experiences, my experience at
Mile High can't really be documented. I hope this will suffice.
And yeah...that's about as emotional as I'll get around here.
FINAL CUTS
Dang, I just remembered all the horrid Rockies games I saw in Mile High, those first
two years. Best was the snowstorm on 1994's Opening Day. To me, that was the day
Denver officially arrived as a baseball town. How do I know? Well, it was the first time
I heard the crowd "BOO" the Rockies, as Howard Johnson misplayed a fly ball, allowing
it to drop and score two runs for the Phillies...||... Also (conveinently?) forgot the
big Metallica/Guns n' Roses show. Who was the better act? Wouldja believe Ice-T and
Body Count?... ||... I would've talked about the "classic" 1991 Minor League
World Series, between the Denver Zephyrs and Columbus Yankees, if I could remember it...
||...
What a lame turdburger ESPN Classic's Mile High special was. They used the same old
LAME Rocky Mtn Oyster joke, while at the Chophouse.... || ...
That same show was co-hosted by Woody Paige, a Denver Post hack. He did nothing
but reminisce about the "glory years" of the late 80's. Years that ended with Super Bowl
punkings, a white Nazi named Mecklenburg and three little wideouts who couldn't run after
making a catch... ||... Looks like my wish came true, we're going to Baltimore.
I'm not sure that's a good thing, though, as Baltimore and Tennessee are the two teams
that scare me...
