SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

Vs. Indianapolis Colts (L 10-29)
Six months ago, if someone told you that the Broncos and Colts were going to meet in January, and that Brian Griese would set a career high, you'd be intrigued. Even the Playstation geeks would want to rest their thumbs and check that game out. "Broncos, Colts, January"...you couldn't go wrong with those words, right?

Plenty wrong. Both teams have gone through the NFL season like a three legged donkey with a missing eye and a bleeding colon. Denver went in at 8-7 to the Colts 5-10. What's the most embarassing thing that can happen to a gimpy donkey? Getting run over by Uncle Jesse's tractor and becoming road pizza? Close, the most embarassing thing that could have happened, did in fact occur- the gimpy, three legged Denver Donkies got run over by another set of gimpy donkies...donkies riding a skateboard and on life support, no less.

As far as final demises go, this was right up there with Gene Simmons' laughable death scene from the conclusion of "Runaway". But unlike that crappy movie, this one was over quick. Brian Griese completed his first pass of the game to the Colts. Not content with the odor, Grise stunk it up even more. Fumbling for a 15 yard sack and throwing three more INTs before the Broncos called it a day.

Griese was quoted as saying "I don't blame anyone else. I blame myself". How valiant. He's been blaming everyone else all year, and on the week when he doesn't have to show up for practice anymore, he FINALLY blames the true culprit: himself. Griese is locked up for 5 more years... can only hope he's being paid in Argentinan currency. Sure he's not expected to be John Elway...but he wasn't expected to be Babe Laufenberg, either.

With this forgettable footnote in the books, the big story of the week involved the Florida Gators coaching job. On Monday morning, a regular sports dweeb went on the Broncos' flagship station and proclaimed: "If Mike Shanahan wants the Florida job, it's his. I expect us to know by Wednesday". This reeked of sensationalism. Truth is, Mike Shanahan could have the Bengals head coaching job..IF he wanted it. He could also land the helm of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers...IF he wanted it. Even the bullpen coaching job of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays could be Shanahan's...IF he wanted it. (ex: The US could completely bomb the crap out of Canada...IF we wanted to).

The Florida Gators private jet was in town, but did not leave with an extra passenger. Shanahan heard what Florida had to offer, but decided to stay in Denver, citing unfinished business and declaring it "the best head coaching job in the world". Of course, the fact that Shanahan has several cushy years left on his contract helped. The Denver job is Shanahan's as long as he wants it. Despite the John Elway factor, Shanahan did what was viewed by the football world as impossible- he won not one, but TWO Super Bowls for the Broncos. Don't think that fact will ever be forgotten. By Pat Bowlen, Bronco fans, or Shanahan himself.

Besides, Gainesville Florida isn't exactly the scenic part of Florida. It's more Georgia/Alabamie than it is South Beach or the Keys. How else do you explain Dusty Rhodes' continued presence in that area, since the 70's?

Yeah, a quick and shitty recap for this week. The Broncos head into the off-season with their biggest crop of problems since the Wade Phillips days. Shanahan's commitment might be an inspiration of some sorts, but this team has proved that even virgin 18 year old cheerleaders can't inspire them. I can guarantee that the next time we see the Broncos, that the stench will have increased. True fact, because next time we DO see the Broncos, it will be in Greeley- the lush, slaughterhouse/shit smelling paradise of the plains. See ya then.

BUT WAIT...there's MORE! You're invited to drop by next week for the 2001 eStragand.com Year End Awards. Same categories as last year, and you can browse last year's winners to see how this goes. You're encouraged to e-mail me your suggestions/nominees, with the final deadline being Jan 15th. Look for the awards next week as we finally bid adios to YOUR 2001 Denver Broncos.

FINAL CUTS
If all goes as planned, this year's awards ceremony will again be held at Chubby's on Mississipi and I-225, in scenic Aurora, Colorado. Players, fans, and especially cheerleaders are invited to attend. ...||... You knew I wouldn't miss THIS: but the last time the Broncos played in Indy (1990), it was Blake Ezor's career day. All 89 yards of it. ...||... I'm rather bummed that I found out about orangemane.com during the last week of the season. The site crashes Netscape, but their message board is a delight. ...||... For not firing defensive coordinator Vic Fangio, Colts coach Jim Mora was fired himself. Fangio has to feel like Private Ryan, now, with a dying Jim Mora leaning against a tank and muttering: "earn...it..." Way to fall on the grenade, Jimmy.

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2001 Season Archive
August 11 vs Cowboys
August 20 vs Packers
August 26 vs Saints
September 4 vs 49ers
September 10 vs Giants
September 16 vs BYE
September 23 vs Cardinals
September 30 vs Ravens
October 7 vs Chiefs
October 14 vs Seahawks
October 21 vs Chargers
October 28 vs Patriots
November 5 vs Raiders
November 11 vs Chargers
November 18 vs Redskins
November 23 vs Cowboys
December 2 vs Dolphins
December 9 vs Seahawks
December 16 vs Chiefs
December 30 vs Raiders
January 6 vs Colts
Feb 13- year end special