SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

Vs. San Francisco 49ers (W 26-21)
The Broncos and all of their "talent" made their 2005 debut in Denver on Saturday night. Jake Plummer and Mike Anderson ran the first-team offesne down the field and notched a quick 7-0 lead. Good to see Anderson back, as he was a favorite around here the last time we covered Donkies football. Even IF he was busted for "allegedly" smoking the wacky tobacky in 2003. He missed all of 2004 with a busted leg and looked to have no problem weaving through the holes and making cuts.

The Donkey defense got their chance at what will become a weekly NFL habit in 2005-- a team gets to tee off on Forty Niners QB Alex Smith. Gerard Warren, Ebenezer Ekuban and Trevor Pryce all ended up in the backfield...but the Niners offensive lineman aren't much better than the green footed Smith. John Lynch led with his SHOULDERPAD and nailed Niners tight end Billy Bajema in the hat. I'm sure a few local sports jackasses made the obligatory bad joke of "he knocked the Bajema out of him". ....crickets.....

But the best the Denver offense could do was 10 points, hindered by a few holding penalties. Niners QB Tim Rattay entered the game and quickly found Arnaz Battle for a long TD strike. Holding steady to their pattern of recent years, the Broncos impressed early, then allowed their weaker opponent back into the game. In the third quarter, they were trailing 14-10. If this had been a regular season game, it's the type of game the Broncos would have LOST.

Bradlee Van Pelt made an appearance and at this point you have to feel that there's no reason to NOT make him the #2 QB. He made a sensational dodge, roll and throw-on-the-run to Darius Watts in the endzone. Watts made the catch but wasn't able to keep both feet in-bounds. He MAY have been confused by the FUCKING SOCCER FIELD LINES that were a good 2 feet outside of the FOOTBALL LINES. Why bullshit like this is tolerated in an NFL stadium is the biggest travesty this side of Marv Levy's Hall of Fame bust. I was reminded of Derek Russell, who had a similar problem with the first-base markings left on the field from a Denver Zephyrs game. Baseball lines we can deal with...but soccer? No.

Important to note that around this time, a camera cut to the obligatory cheerleader shot. For once, they were NOT holding their pom-poms and shrieking "go broncos". The camera spotted athree cheerleaders doing their erotic dance...errrrrr... routine. WHY is this important? Renee Herlocker was in the lead formation and got 1.8 seconds of screentime! Yes, Renee Herlocker was on TV! Somebody needs to TiVo that, send me a screen cap and I can watch my Renee Herlocker referrals skyrocket! (by the way..for those Renee Herlocker trolls visiting my crappy website: "Gallery" now includes at least ONE Renee Herlocker picture for ya'. --yeah, I dropped the old, worthless self-promoting format of that section).

As the second half wound down, Tatum Bell and Ron Dayne (yes, THAT Ron Dayne) both ran well. Todd Devoe...who hasn't been mentioned since his R n' B/hip-hop group Bel Biv Devoe scored a hit with "Do Me" in 1990.. added to his surprise showing of last week by making a catch or two. Former practice squader and 2004 late season punt return man Charlie Adams looked impressive on his returns. The common sentiment around town is that the Broncos would do well by dumping Jerry Rice and Darius Watts, while promoting these two guys.

In the final frame, former LSU QB and future dentist Matt Mauck scrambled into the endzone. The Niners came back on a lonnnnng ass drive with QB Cody Pickett. Pickett's Charge worked well as he moved them on 186 yard TD drive. Time ran out, though, and fifth-string Denver QB Chad Friehuaf got the honor of strapping on his helmet and taking the final knee as Denver won 26-21. If you're Danny Kannell, you should note that Chad Friehauf has made ONE appearance and you have made ZERO. Might wanna' polish up that resumé and get in touch with some NFL Europe or Arena Football buddies, Danny.

It's important to note that Forty-Niners' offensive lineman Thomas Herrion collpased after the game and was taken to the hospital. He was pronounced dead shortly after. Complete shocker and a tragedy...yet I wont patronize everyone by going into Dan Dierdorf Fake Empathetic Voice. Here was a young guy bumping around the league, trying to land a home..and he passes away in his early 20's after a game. I wont pretend that I knew of the guy, but I'm sorry to hear of his passing, nonetheless.

FINAL CUTS
Hey! Howzabout that NFL Network?! Now you can watch re-runs of preseason games all weekend long! If that's your idea of quality programming and use of time, then I worry for you ...||... Wait-- Randy Moss is saying that he smoked marijuana?! Holy shit! Next thing you'll tell me is that Wilt Chamberlain liked women! ...||... I'm not old yet. All the chubby sports hacks around town are gushing over Danica Patrick, who dropped through the state for some IRL event in Colorado Springs. All of the columnists for the local fishwraps have been writing cutesy pieces about her to tide over their boners until they get home and have the chance to spew over their Danica Patrick calendar. I just don't see anything attractive about her. I mean.... she's definitely not a Renee Herlocker. It must be the old adage of timing and placement. Put Danica Patrick next to a woman who's actually, y'know, CUTE and you wouldn't recognize her. But put her next to a buncha' filthy guys and she's HOT.

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap