SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

09/02/05 Vs. Arizona Cardinals (W 30-21)
It's Week Negative One and the Denver Broncos are undefeated in Games That Don't Count! Manny Fernandez, Nick Buoniconti and the other geezers aren't exactly concerned...but I'm sure the 138 other NFL Teams that have finished with 4-0 preseason records are pissed that they won't be able to uncork another bottle of bubbly this year.

The Broncos subs looked impressive in their longest outing of the year. Ron Dayne and especially Tatum Bell impressed. But it was against the Cardinals who despite their midly improved new uniforms and Kurt Warner, are still the Cardinals. You can take the boys out of the shitty, but you can't take the shitty out of the boys...or something like that. How these guys managed to coax a new stadium out of Phoenix is an enigma. But I hear that it'll have retractable turf...so that'll be a curiousity destined to get them some press.

Since the game was played in Phoenix, Renee Herlocker was NOT part of the gameplan this week. My sources tell me that she used the off week to train back in Denver and that she's looking forward to twirling her pom-poms when the Broncos open on September 18 at Invesco Field. Coincedentally or not...but Renee Herlocker's regular season debut is the SAME DAY I move into the NEW eStragand Complex!

This just in, but Jake Plummer, Tom Nalen, Rod Smith and the other usual Talented Idiots will make the 2005 Denver Broncos. With that suspense out of the way, Friday night was the annual Bradlee Van Pelt Bowl. In last year's preseason finale, Van Pelt entered for one series and drove the Broncos down the field on an 80 yard touchdown adventure. This year, Van Pelt started the game and threw 3 touchdowns. 2 of which went to the beleaguered Darius Watts and his Hands of Stone. Just like Ashley Lelie seemed to be showcased last week, the coaches seemed to showcase Watts this week. Watts responded, actually CAUGHT some passes and his performance most likely assured him a roster spot.

Van Pelt is the #2. Notice that number-- TWO. As in second. As in NOT one. Van Pelt may become the starter five years down the road. He might excel in the NFL and that'd be a great story. But it's a longshot right now. Despite what myopic CSU fans may feel, Van Pelt is not ready to be a #1 QB anywhere (well...maybe NFL Europe). He might start due to an injury, but PLEASE don't delude yourself into thinking he should be the #1, or that there's any controversy. There's no need to push for "Van Pelt Blog" on the Broncos website...cuz' the guy will have doodly shit to talk about. Listen, I'd like to see Van Pelt become a superstar and I'm a fan...but that time is not right now. Jake Plummer is at the helm and he's an enormous upgrade over Van Pelt. Let's be honest, Van Pelt's future is still a big IF. Besides, if the football thing doesn't work out, Van Pelt can always fall back on his movie career as Stifler... it landed him a role in Dukes of Hazzard after all.

Since most of you who stumble into this site don't seem to know how to use Yahoo!, here's the fellers who were cut:

• Quentin Griffin
• Triandos Luke
• Matt Mauck
• Dorsett Davis
• Mario Fatafehi
• Jeremy LeSeur
• Curome Cox
• Anton Palepoi
• Aaron Hunt
• Brandon Miree
• Terry Pierce
• Jashon Sykes
• Tyson Clabo
• Anthony Clement
• Ben Nowland
• Erik Pears
• Chris Watton
• Zach Wilson
• Chris Myers

Biggest surprises are Griffin, Mauck, Pierce and Myers. I wont miss Griffin, since after last year's season opener, he seemed to be more into burrowing for yards than running for yards. Mauck was a mild surprise, since this means the Broncos are going with only two QB's. Mauck might be a practice squader, but if not he has his dental career to fall back on. Myers was a 2005 draft pick, so he might also end up working on the Dove Valley pratice squad.

Pierce looked okay this summer and will probably find himself on someone else's roster before the season opener. I guess that means the Donkies only have two backup LB's-- Patrick Chukwurah and Keith Burns. Unless they're planning to use their abundance of d-linemen to stock the position. For instance, someone like John Engelberger could lineup at OLB during passing downs.

I'm glad to see Fatafehi go. He's been around since 2003, and was a huge embarassment everytime he did his stupid wavey sack dance. The guy would get a cheap coverage sack..then do his dance. Or stuff a guy at midfield...then do his dance. I don't recall Fatefehi doing his dance at any crucial times...which shows you how much of a "force" he was.

Some of the guys are definite unknowns. Apologies to their friends and family who are searching the Internet for their names...but they wont be missed. I'm sure they all received some nice souvenirs and t-shirts as reminders of their training camp experience. Also, with Triandos Luke gone, that makes my Madden 2005 Franchise team look even more unrealistic and ridiculous. Breaks my pixel-rendered heart to know that my #3 receiver and return man will never exist. Guess that means the Broncos wont go on a 58 game winning streak either (isn't Madden SO realistic?!)

The cuts also mean that Jerry Rice and Todd Devoe have made the team. Local fave Cecil Sapp also returns for another year as a composite RB/FB. A small victory for CSU fans: two Rams are on the Broncos roster. Hey, they need something to cheer 'em up after today's annual choke job up in Boulder.

FINAL CUTS
I know this is a below-the-belt shot, but I'm expecting the Onion to have a sidebar soon, saying: "New Orleans Saints Homeless. NFL Doesn't Notice"
...||...Seriously, where will the Saints play? Baton Rouge? San Antonio? Brett Favre's old college? More importantly, will anybody show up? ...||... This is a half-ass report, since I just saw the highlights of the game. In reality, I spent Friday night at Coors Field, watching the return of Clint Barmes and my LAST baseball game of the year. So yes, I was one of those 23 people in attendance.
...||... I called it on Hines Ward's holdout. Back in August, G The Steeler Fan Who Thinks Bubby Brister Took Them to the Super Bowl was worried that Hines was holding out. I said he was simply waiting for two-a-day practices to end. The day after they ended, guess who was back in uniform?!
...||...

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap