SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

09/18/05 Vs. San Diego Chargers (W 20-17)
The wolves were circling, the sky was darkening...and down the road the shitwagon flew. The Denver Broncos fanbase was severed in three. 1/3 were anxiously waiting for their team to get into the win column--revving up their playoff hopes, cheers and car antenna flags. Another 1/3 were anxiously waiting for the team to fall flat on their face and suffer a humliating loss to the Chargers-- Revving up their heckles, boos and scorn. The final 1/3 just wanted to see Renee Herlocker--- you probably DON'T want to know what they were revving. As odd as it may have seemed, the fate of the Broncos' season was on the line, Sunday.

The Broncos came out and seemed to be on the correct course. Until they took a wrong turn at the 3 yard line, thanks to a Mike Anderson fumble. Anderson's bruised ribs had forced him to wear a flak-jacket around his tummy. In other words, he was trying to carry the ball with a Funk & Wagnall's Encyclopedia set strapped around his gut. The fumble seemed like a momentary setback, but the Bronco offense soon dissipated while LaDanian Tomlinson and his buddies sprinted to a 14-3 halftime lead.

At halftime, something snapped in the defense. First play of the second half saw Champ Bailey pick off a pass from Drew Brees. Bailey was the Broncos top receiver, as he ran back into the endzone for six points and revived the Broncos dangling hopes. The rest of the defense was apparently inspried by the play, as they played what was arguably the best defensive second half of any Bronco team....well, at least since Barney Chavous retired. Courtney Brown and all his athletic tape sacked Brees. LaDanian Tomlinson was stuffed. John Lynch sacked Brees for a 75 yard loss.

Rookie cornerback/kick reurner Darrent Williams made two spectacular plays-- returning a punt for a score and picking off a pass at the goal line. Both of which were soon reversed as Williams is now first-team All-Pro on Plays That Don't Count. The punt return nullification was somewhat perplexing, as the Broncos were called for having too many men on the field. Somewhere, Michael Dean Perry could relate.

As the defense gave up a meager 41 yards in the second half, the offense stil couldn't move the ball efficiently. "Sqaudered Filed Position" almost became an official NFL stat thanks to the Broncos ineptitude. The defense was controlling the game and it was too bad that they couldn't snap the ball.

But then in the fourth quarter, with the game tied at 17, there was a Ron Dayne sighting. NFL Films has video to prove it, too. Currently, it's being filed next to the Bigfoot Video until authenticity is proved. Dayne, forgotten and ridiculed in New York, showed glimpses of the runningback who rumbled to the 1999 Heisman Trophy. Dayne took over for Mike Anderson in the fourth and suddenly the Bronco offense had life. Dayne was soon tested in his newfound significance. On 4th and 1 at midfield, with the game on the line, the Broncos faked the inside handoff and pitched (yes, pitched) to Dayne. Dayne ran for 10 yards and a fresh set of orange on-field graphics.

Jason Elam skipped out for what everyone expected would be his third miss of the day. Elam pushed it through the uprights and the Broncos season was suddenly saved. In week 2. The boo'ing subsided while the car antenna flags twirled and Renee Herlocker shook her pom-pom's. Things were good in Donkey Land.

At least until next week.

FINAL CUTS
...||... Time to watch my referrals skyrocket: Broncos Cheerleader Renee Herlocker 2005 January Calendar Picture. CLICK HERE. Really, it's safe. So all you trolls can click it and be marginally happy. Courtesy of Our Pal, Mark.

...||... Think YOU know all there is to know about NFL Cheerleaders. Try this lil' quiz:
1.) a cheerleader's team is up by 42-7. The camera focusses on her. What does she say?
2.) a cheerleader's team is down by 7-42. The camera focusses on her. What does she say?
A.) The corect answer in both bases is "Go (Team Name)!". Example: "Go Eagles!" "Go Patriots", etc.

...||... So, if New Orleans-based teams are the sentimental favorites, why is it that only LSU and the Saints are given attention? Nobody really cared that Southeast Lousiana had to cancel their first game, then got trounced by the University of Northern Colorado last Saturday.

...||... Did the Buffalo Bills officially change their uniforms, or are they just on a temporary throwback kick? Their 2002-2004 uniforms looked like someone had turned them inside-out, so the throwbacks are a mild improvement.

...||...CBS announcers mentioned that Mike Shanahan's face was red with anger. Most likely, it was red with sunburn. Shanahan rarely wears a hat or sunglasses, and the sky was completely cloudless this weekend. Not sure why he goes lid-less, but the guy's face is starting to resemble a slab of beef jerky. Look back at the Super Bowl videos and you'll say: "wow, who was THAT guy?".

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap