SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

09/26/05 Vs. Kansas City Chiefs (W 30-10)
The Broncos and Chiefs have had some wacky fun over the years. On a national scale, the series has been known for the overrated Steve Awater and Chrisitan Okoye hit in 1990, Quentin Griffin's career game in the 2004 opener, and Derrick Thomas's self-destruction in a 1998 Monder Nighter. Despite the recent national TV emabrassments (see: MNF at Cincinnati and the Sunday night snow debacle with the Raiders, both in 2004), somebody at ABC thought it wise to put the Broncos back on Monday Night Football.

Somebody also thought it was a good idea to start the show with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. The Rock, clad in a...Jason Elam jersey (?!) hollered "are you ready for some footballllllllll" to the delight of dozens. Thankfully, the Rock, best known for being a braggadocious wrestler, did not wiggle his tongue as he was known to do in his rasslin' days. I didn't get the connection. I could imagine the MNF crew planning the stunt: hmm... The Rock.. Denver... football... MNF.... ummm.. the Broncos play close to the ROCKY Mountains. And the Rock's starring in another shitty movie ("Doom")...the Broncos usually play shitty on national TV... let's do it!!" Heck, If ABC wanted to get me excited, they should have trotted out Jorge Garcia ("Hurley") from "Lost". He could have walked out and quietly said "dude... are you ready?". That would have owned the fucking world.

Shockingly, the Broncos owned the Chiefs to a final score of 30-10. They ran up 17 points in the first quarter and cruised the rest of the way. Again, the team was led by the defense. They must have been motivated again, because when this unit WANTS to play, they're scary. Ian Gold, Gerrard Warren, Al Wilson, John Lynch and their buddies all swarmed to the ball. Priest Holmes did absolutely nothing of note. Larry Johnson? Wasn't he an NBA player from about 10 years ago who dressed up as "Grandmama"? To steal another NBA marketing campaign of that era, the Broncos made the Chiefs loook like a team of "Lil' Pennies".

Mike Anderson played without his rib flakjacket/encyclopedia set. Anderson doesn't need any protective padding. The guy probably ran through the streets of Mogadishu with four bullet wounds during his Marine days, so a rib injury's nothing. He ran for a 44 yard touchdown, which was enough to get Renee Herlocker on the screen. This time, ABC made a competent decision as their cameraman snapped a good 5 seconds of Renee Herlocker. She displayed excellent technique and executed her gameplan well.

Sometime in the second quarter, ABC ran a stat displaying "quarterback ratings during play-action fakes". Jake Plummer was behind Peyton Manning with something like 128.6. And I thought I had too much free time. Apparently, some statistician was bored and decided to chart non-play-action plays with play-action plays. Now if they could just chart "quarterback rating when ball is handed off", they'd be on to something.

In the third quarter, Plummer was again the subject of a random MNF detail. Plummer gave four quick answers to four quick questions. First question: "If I could do a Hollywood love scene with any actress, who would it be? Salma Hayek". No argument, there. Fucker read my mind. See, Plummer is actually an intelligent guy. With a shitty beard.

Important to note that Rod Smith passed the 10,000 yard career mark. He became the only undrafted player with the accomplishment. A guy who was once moved to safety for a 1994 pre-season game, then spent the entire season on the practice squad. People forget that he was picked up during the Wade Phillips years. His real development didn't begin until the 1995 season, when his first catch was a game-winning TD against Darrell Green of the Redskins. 10 years later and it's safe to say things have worked out exceptionally for the guy.

Late in the fourth, Eddie Kennison appeared to catch a TD pass. Kennison, rolled over and pointed to the sky. After further review...it was revealed that Kennison had never caught the wall and was denied both the TD and the reception. So, whoever Kennison had dedicated that TD to should feel ripped off.

Eddie: "Dearly departed grandma...I just scored a touchdown that doesn't count, in a game where my team is getting its collective rump handed to it! You're welcome!"
Eddie's Dead Grandma: "dick."

A few minutes later, Lenny Walls, who had been bouncing around and acting like his typical punk self all night, got into a little spat with the Chief's Sammie Parker. Walls had "deflected" a ball intended for Parker in the end zone and thumped his chest. Two plays later, Walls missed a tackle over the middle and Parker scampered into the end zone for the Chief's only touchdown of the night. Parker immediately turned to Walls and talked crap. It was with about 3 minutes remaining and the game was out of reach, but both of these guys embarassed themsevles. Walls for acting like an unprofessional putz and trying to show-up a team that was getting blown out. Parker for thinking his meaningless TD actually meant something. These two dweebs are as significant as a mouse fart

Yet, overall the Broncos had enough to be proud of on a Monday Night. They ended the game early and there was a slight chance that Bradlee Van Pelt would've made his debut. The Broncos also worked on their pitch play some more--the same one that won them the game, last week. They moved the ball around, allowing Ron Dayne, Tatum Bell and even Cecil Sapp to get some touches. Champ Bailey went out with a hamstring problem, which is currently cause for mild concern. But things were decent in Donkey-land for one night. A fast start seems to be a Bronco curse, so all real adulation should be withheld until late December. But at least they weren't embarassed.... this week.

FINAL CUTS
...||... NEW for you trolls this week: Broncos Cheerleader Renee Herlocker 2004 Calendar Picture. CLICK HERE. Different than last week's.

...||... When relocating the ES Complex, I found an autographed picture of CSU quarterback Anthoney Hill. I never expected him to play in the NFL, but what became of him?

...||... Bradlee Van Pelt was out doing some promotional appearance last Tuesday. Dropped by, and I have to say that the guy is cooler than the Fonz. He took the time to stand up, shake your hand, look you in the eye and say "nice to meet you, I'm Bradlee. What's your name?" Very talkative guy and if nothing else, he's got a future career in broadcasting. Assuming the movie thing doesn't work out for him. "Guy Who Played Stifler" only gets you so far.

...||... Now that the New York Jets have re-signed Vinnie Testaverde, Gary Hogeboom is probably thinking he shoulda' stayed OFF of Survivor. Who needs all that jungle hassle, only to have a 1 in 18 chance of getting a million? He coulda' stayed at home and some team would've called him up, eventually.

...||... "The Replacements" was a shitty 2000 movie with Keanu "Ted" Reeves, yet the cheerleader outfits from it will NOT go away. Since then, they've popped up in numerous commercials, including that crappy Love Train ad from Coors.

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap