SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

10/30/05 vs. Philadelphia Eagles (W 49-21)
The Broncos traditionally do not perform well on Halloween. Last year, they were hacked up by Michael Vick and an 1988 Monday Night Football embarassment ranks right below the Super Bowl blowouts in terms of carnage. This year, the Broncos were on a Trick or Treat sugar high for the first half. They were trouncing the Eagles, blitzing on every down and jumping out to a 28-0 lead. The sugar high was working and midway through the second quarter, Mike Shanahan was so wound up that he was spotted on the sidelines with his hands in the air and jersey over his forehead, yelling to Eagles coach Andy Reid: "Are you threatening me?! I am Cornholio!!"

The Eagles played arguably their worst half of football since Rich Kotite left town. I've seen maybe all of...ohh.. 3 Eagles games in that time, but that's a safe claim. Donovan McNabb misfired on his first 12 attempts and didn't complete a pass until the second quarter. When he did, he completed it to Broncos safety and radio spokesman John Lynch. With 2 INT's, Lynch now leads the Broncos in interceptions to go along with his leads in public service annoucements, radio/TV commercials and product endorsements. Lynch's pick also helped out McNabb's rating-- at that point it was announced that his QB Rating was 1.7. Apparently, you are awarded a few points for throwing an interception.

To complicate the embarassment, Eagles wideout Terrell Owens was shut out in the first half. T.O. has his own product endorsement, and just like he gets knocked around by Bam Margera's pals in a game of Red Rover, he was kept away from the ball. You do not want to be odor. With the poor showing by the Eagles, you half expected Margera's stuntman Don Vito to run into the huddle.

But the Broncos' sugar high started to recede as halftime approached. A pre-game binge of Snickers Crunchers, Smarties and Dum-Dums only goes so far. Donovan McNabb quickly drove the team down the field and connected with L.J. Smith for a "gimme" touchdown. The broadcast jockeys at FOX rejoiced, for it gave them a chance to do a rehearsed piece about Smith's basketball background.

In the third quarter, the Broncos strolled out of the locker room for their weekly second half collapse. Owens bitchslapped Champ Bailey and turned a five yard hitch into a 91 yard TD. Bailey did an acting job worthy of any punter, as he stumbled to the ground with a "bad hamstring". Well, if you're going to get beat like that, you'd better improvise an "injury". McNabb's abyssmal numbers soon blossomed and following another TD pass to Brian Westbrook, the Eagles only trailed by 7 points.

With "3 and out" being the third quarter mantra of Jake Plummer's offense, the defense was kept on the field. The sugar high had been replaced by the ensuing sugar coma. The Broncos, and Plummer in particular, have publicly stated that it's unfair to put so much pressure on their defense. Yet, for maybe ..ohh, the 7th time in 8 games... they were doing it again. But this week, rookie cornerback Domonique Foxworth made one of the biggest defensive plays of the season, so far. He intercepted McNabb at the goaline in what proved to be game saver. A few plays later, Plummer found backup receiver Todd Devoe, who improvised a short route into a 44 yard touchdown. (I'm sorry...but who was that old fart ball-catcher the Broncos brought in over the summer?) Overall, Jake Plummer threw four touchdowns on the day-- one each to Kyle Johnson, Rod Smith, DeVoe and even Stephen Alexander. Alexander made a phenomenal one-handed grab on a ball that Plummer appeared to be air mailing into the South Stands.

Mike Anderson had racked up tough yards throughout the game, but in the 4th it was Tatum Bell who took over. Bell sprinted around the left side for a 67 yard TD and put the game out of reach. If Tim McCarver had been in the booth he would have made some shitty analogies, like: "for whom the Bell tolls..it tolls for the Eagles" or "there may be a crack in Philadelphia's Liberty Bell... but Bell has now put a crack in the Eagles". Both Anderson and Bell finished with 100 yards. The media reported that it's the first time two Broncos have topped 100 in a single game since Norris Weese and Otis Armstrong in 1976. Sigh... how quickly we forget Terrell Davis and Derek Loville in the 1997 wildcard game against the Jaguars. The Broncos also made NFL history as they were the first team to ever record two 100 yard rushers and a 300 yard passer (Plummer) in the same game.

The Broncos downed more Smarties and finished the game on a sugar high. Fortunately, their collapse arrived in the third this week and for the first time in over a month, they scored a significant amount of points in the fourth quarter. They now head into their bye week at 6-2 and looking impressive. The team dedicated their victory to Dwayne Carswell, how had been seriously injured in a car crash on Tuesday. Hopefully, Carswell will keep inspiring them and supply them with motivation. But just in case, they should visit Sam's Club this Tuesday and stock up on the half-price Halloween candy blowouts. Never know when they'll need another sugar high.

FINAL CUTS
...||...Carswell was injured while driving his 1994 Chevy Caprice. Carswell signed on with the Broncos in 1994 and that was probably the first thing he treated himself to. A brand new 1994 Caprice. Despite the fact that he's made millions since, he's still driving it. Another reason why Carswell should be one of Your Favorite Donkies. Easy to beleive that he could inspire the team.

...||... 10 cool points to ESPN for showing the fan run onto the field and steal the ball from Brett Favre in the Green Bay-Cincinnati game. I was out of the room when I heard the announcers babbling about the incident. Ran in to the TV and, of course, saw nothing. Waited all day to see the incident, but when I finally did, it was nothing special. I'm curious how the guy got that far onto the field, though. The sidelines are usually about 10 people deep. I should look this guy up next time I need to get through a crowd, quickly.

...||... In case you missed it, the Broncos Cheerleaders were decked out in Halloween outfits. Some had 1950's "Grease" chic outfits while others had convict outfits. No clue on which group Renee Herlocker was a part of... so relax, trolls. But hey, if you want to think she was dressed up as a convict, then go for it. Convicts usually involve handcuffs. My search referrals will sky-rocket now that I've found an awkward way to work the words "Renee Herlocker" and "Handcuffs" into a paragraph.

...||... Don't think I didn't notice it, but referee Bernie Kukar appeared to be flagging the crap out of the Eagles in the first half. Maybe it was a make-up effort from last year's MNF debacle in Cincinnati? I believe this is the first time the Broncos have had Kukar work one of their games since then.

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap