11/06/05 vs. Bye Week
To keep you entertained (or in pain) during the bye week, the Option38
Sports Team ventured into the Bowels of the complex and dug up some
old Donkey videos (no...they're not racy videos from Tijuana). Our first choice was to watch the 1997 season
highlights video... but I always cry like a teenaged
girl with a broken unicorn statue when I get to the end of that tape.
So, we dug out something that hasn't been viewed since January 1988--
The Three Amigos Music Video! Usually, I try to make sarcastic jokes, but
this week I can reign in those zingers, as this video makes its own jokes.
The Amigos come to town..
L to R: Vance! Ricky! Mark!
Another Vikings bye-week party
Ole!
Holy shit! It's Kurt Warner's wife!
Possibly the only 2 seconds of non-embarassing footage in the entire video
An extra from "Revenge of the Nerds" who became a two-term mayor of Denver
The Casa Bonita bands invites you to sample the soapapillas
Theo Huxtable, err, VANCE with his heartfelt special message
A little history, first. Thanks to the Chiacago Bears'
"Superbowl Shuffle", NFL music videos were all the rage in
the mid 80's. The Broncos had three undersized wide receivers in
Mark Jackson, Vance Johnson and rookie Ricky Nattiel. For years,
the media had been trying to come up with a catchy nickname for
John Elway's targets. For awhile they had "Elway's Three Sons",
with Jackson, Johnson and Steve Watson
(at times, the "son" contingent would include Butch Johnson and Clint Sampson).
In the 1987 season, when Nattiel, Jackson and Johnson posed for
a poster, dressed in sombreros with the slogan "Adios, Amigos",
the Three Amigos became a widely-used nickname. They weren't officially
labelled the "Three Amigos", although everyone used that term.
As this video shows, they were "Denver's Amigos". Apparently they didn't
strike an official
deal with the makers of the "Three Amigos" movie with Chevy Chase,
Steve Martin and Martin Short.
On the field, the 1987 Broncos were on their way to a second
straight Super Bowl. After falling to the Giants the previous
year, the Broncos were heavy favorites against
the Washington Redskins for Super Bowl 22. As the AFC playoffs finished up,
this video was put into production to capitalize on the Super Bowl
hype of the "Amigos".
The video opens with a shot of the Amigos riding their horses through
Denver's City Park (a famous scenery location, just west of
the Natural Science Museum). Clad in full-length black dusters and sombreros,
the Amigos also make a stop at an authentic Mexican cantina...errrrrr, rather
Denver's Casa Bonita restuarant out on Colfax. Then, the music starts. Some of
the lyrics seem forced and are rushed through...but it goes like this...
In the city of the mile hiiiigh..
the battle, it is drawing nigh
Let the rocky mountain thunder roar....
send the Amigos off to war
Just north of the broder town..
time for the showdownnn
[all 3 walk into Casa Bonita, which is filled with
"outlaws" in Oilers, Browns and Giants jerseys. Also, a
Brain Bosworth lookalike]
fiiiire in their eyes...
no place to hide
[song speeds up a bit] When the Amigos come to town..
the fight will last to after sundown
Then heroes will be standing tall...
even though they look so small
[bad guys fall off their chairs as the Amigos draw their guns]
As the vanquished fall away, you will hear them turn and say...
[shot of former Denver mayor Federico Peña saying:....}
"Hey! Who are those guys?!"
THE AMIGOOOOOOOS!
[cut to shot of all 3 in the South endzone saying "OLé!'!"] Touchdown Banditoooooooss!
One Amigo turning on a dime,
the other tight-ropes down the sideline.
The last one slices through the heart
the next thing you know they're dancing in the endzoooonnne!
[NFL Films clips of all 3 catching TD passes]
"Hey! Who are those guys?!"
THE AMIGOOOOOOOS! ["Olé!!"] Touchdown Banditooooooos!
[Guitar solo and Casa Bonita mariachi band boogie...]
Ol' John in the shotgun,
puts the Redskins on the run
Bullets flying everywhere,
no one is safe with him out there!
You wanna' say he'll take a chance,
deep to Ricky, Mark or Vannnnnce!
40, 30, 20, 10,
Amigos they will strike again!
And you will hear the war cry,
echo down from fans on high....
"Hey! I know those guys!"
THE AMIGOOOOOOOS! ["Olé!!"] Touchdown Banditoooooos!
[song mercifully fades out as the Amigos gallop
west into City Park]
A quick narration follows, with clips of the guys
doing an autograph appearance at Denver's Southwest Plaza. Jackson
and Nattiel are wearing slacks and black leather jackets... but Johnson
is wearing an Al Davis-ish white jumpsuit. The narrator never mentions
their last names, just referring to them as "Vance", "Ricky" and
"Mark". He also mentions that they're in "high demand around Denver",
doing promotional appearances and music videos. Vance is an artist
and "exhibits frequently". To cap it off, they also play football!
The tape close out with, arguably, the highlight of the piece. Vance Johnson
comes on with a "special message for his favorite fans-- the KIDS!". Vance
says Denver is so wonderful, blah blah...then he awkwardly works in a
"say no to drugs" message. Coming from a cocky dweeb with weird teeth and
orange hair...gee, I'll say no to drugs! Thanks, Vance!
The tape checks in at a whopping 10 minutes, including the credits. It's fluff,
but its primary goal was to establish the Amigos as personalities in addition to
football players. Denver has always been lacking in the celebrity category, so
they were trying to create a few. Even now, you can't help but laugh when you
see them yelling "Olé!!" Unfortunately, the Amigos still had to play
the Super Bowl. The team got out to a 10-0 lead, including a TD bomb from Elway to
Amigo Ricky Nattiel. But Doug Williams and Timmy Smith took over the game as
Washington won in a disgusting rout, 42-10. I'm sure Charles Mann and the rest of the
'Skins defense enjoyed watching the Amigos video leading up to the game.
The Three Amigos never really turned into the stars this video proclaimed them to be.
After the Super Bowl humiliation, these "personalities" were in low demand.
The "touchdown banditos" were mockingly referred to as "hubcap banditos" (a somewhat
rascist slander). Johnson
had arguably the best career out of the 3. He turned in a 1,000 yard season in 1989 and
was Elway's go-to-guy until 1992....when Elway started to develop a rapport with
some guy named Shannon Sharpe. Want to piss off Chiefs fans?
Mention Vance Johnson and the 1990 and 1992 games.
Jackson was steady throughout his Bronco years, with his best
season coming in 1990. He left after 1992 and hooked up with Dan Reeves as a New York Giant.
Nattiel never developed, as injuries hindered him throughout his career. He
was sent to Tampa Bay before the '92 season, but was released and returned to the Broncos.
He never caught a pass that year and soon disappeared from the NFL.
The video is hilarious in an embarassing way. The fans were suposed to
be laughing WITH the Amigos, not laughing AT them. The trio was a bigger flop than
the bigscreen comedy team. At least the "Three Amigos" movie had a few funny lines (Mexican chick: "after dinner you may kiss me on the veranda". Chevy Chase: "lips would be fine"). This
video has.... Vance Johnson. Ever since the Broncos have won two Super Bowls,
the embarassment has died down a bit. Before those two Lombardi trophies, Bronco fans looked
at this video as an antagonizing reminder of 3 Super Bowl demolitions. Now, we can
look back on it and safely laugh, as the rest of the NFL did in 1988.
" movie had a few funny lines (Mexican chick: "after dinner you may kiss me on the veranda". Chevy Chase: "lips would be fine"). This
video has.... Vance Johnson. Ever since the Broncos have won two Super Bowls,
the embarassment has died down a bit. Before those two Lombardi trophies, Bronco fans looked
at this video as an antagonizing reminder of 3 Super Bowl demolitions. Now, we can
look back on it and safely laugh, as the rest of the NFL did in 1988.
