SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

11/13/05 vs. Oakland Raiders (W 31-17)
For the first time in over a year, the supposedly "rabid" and "faithful" Oakland Raider fans sold out their mountainous stadium and avoided a local black-out. Turns out, there was a blackout after all, as the Raiders were shut out until the fourth quarter, courtesy of Champ Bailey, Nick Ferguson, Darrent Williams and the rest of the Donkies' Blue-bonic Plague.

The fourth quarter collapse still reared it's ugly head, thanks to fumbles by Tatum Bell and Rod Smith. But the ball then ended up in the hands of Kerry Collins. Collins only had the ball on temporary ownership, like a parking attendant on valet duty. Most valets improperly park or scratch the cars they drive--in this case Collins threw 3 interceptions. The Broncos consistently pressured Collins up the middle and the "rabid" and "faithful" fans soon became simply "rabid" and called for a public lyching of the worthless quarterback. Several boo's and Bronx cheers rained down from the stands. Commitment to Flatulence.

You should feel bad for the Oakland fans. In their clown make-up and rubber masks, they had to spend four hours in the sun, looking like a complete doofus. Then another three hours, at home, while they had to scrub all that paint off, undressing, and feeling like a bigger imbecile because their team ahd failed them. Again.

There was one guy who had an intricate facepaint job, resembling a zebra striped pattern. Or, more accurately, a ZUBAZ style pattern! Yes, some Zubaz pants apparently made it past 1995. Or maybe it wans't Zubaz at all... maybe this guy's facepaint resembled a Pacific islander's tatoos. Think of Queequeg from "Moby Dick". That would be more accurate. After all, the Raiders are driven by a fanatical old Captain Ahab in Al Davis and even have a big fat whale in Warren Sapp. Just like the crew of the Pequod, the Raiders went down in tragic fashion. Weak literary parallels in an NFL game. Exlcusively HERE!

During the actual game, Rod Smith set a new career mark, as his 66 touchdowns put him past Terrell Davis for sole possession of the Broncos record. 10 years since Smith made a game-winning TD catch against Darrell Green and the Redskins for his first-ever career reception. At the time, it seemed like a fluke and that Smith would be another in a list of forgotten receivers, with Cedric Tillman or Derek Russell. But here it, 10 years and a few weeks later, and the guy is now the franchise's all-time leader in the big receiving categories. Absolutely phenomenal. The guy really does have "too much talent". You can safely say: "Rod Smith. Best. Broncos. Receiver. Ever". For what it's worth, I still use the Butt-head voice and say "huh huh...Rod" everytime he makes a great catch.

Also of note were some defensive achievements. With the game still on the line, Darrent Williams picked off Collins and sprinted 80 yards to the endzone for his first career TD, INT and Happy Moment. No flags, either. After 9 weeks of play, da' rent was finally due. Transplanted Cleveland Brown Michale Myers also got a clean shot at Collins in the second quarter and sacked him. It was almost comical as Collins resembled a stationary tackling dummy. One of the first drill you run in training camp in an open field tackle on an immobile dummy, but that situation is rarely presented in live play. Unless you're playing the Raiders. I'm sure even tailback LaMont Jordan turned to look at Collins' "dear-in-the-headlights" freeze job and yelled "you dummy!". Demond Wilson would have been proud that a LaMon got to utter that line.

It wasn't exactly a lopsided victory, though. The Broncos were in control of the game, but didn't dominate. Raiders linebacker Derrick Burgess blasted Tatum Bell with a textbook hit, knocking the ball loose. Bell had fumbling problems last year, so that storyline may re-surface this week. But the Broncos 7-2 record will be the big storyline. They Just Won, Baby.

FINAL CUTS
...||...This annoys me to no extent: the Chiacgo Bears beat the 49ers on Sunday, with help from Nathan Vasher's 108 yard TD return of a missed fieldgoal. It was reported as "the longest return in NFL history!", eclipsing a previous mark of 105 by the Ravens in 2002 (against the Broncos no less). Okay, but WHEN did the NFL make their fields longer? We're not the fucking CFL. There's 100 yards in a regulation field. The ball must be placed at least an inch inside of the goalline. Thus, the maximum return, pass, rush, whatever CAN NOT EXCEED 100! A QB throws from the 42 yard line to a guy in the back of the endzone. That's a 42 yard TD pass, not a 48 yard TD pass. Thus, it makes no sense how the NFL arbitrarily adds these extra yards. If these extra yards count, then I maintain that Flipper Anderson has the Longest Pass Reception in NFL History, recorded during the 1989 playoffs. In that game, LA Rams quarterback Jim Everett threw from about midfield to Flipper. Flipper raced into the endzone untouched, and up the tunnel in Giants Stadium. He probably raced about 60 yards up that tunnel, for about 110 yards overall. Thus, by the rule of the NFL's phantom exra yardage, Flipper Anderson holds the NFL record for longest pass reception. Same could be applied to Bo Jackson, for his Monday Night Football run out of the endzone and into the tunnel of the Kingdome in a 1990 game....

...||...Okay, I say this every year, but QUIT calling San Diego's LaDanian Tomlinson "L.T"!! The real "L.T". played for the Giants. And took drugs. And wrestled. And did jail time. And promotes "NFL Blitz: the League"

...||... Saw that the Oakland fans had a "Cliff Branch Corner" in one endzone. Umm, he don't play no more, guys....

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap