SPORTS-(BRONCOS)

11/20/05 vs. New York Jets (W 27-0)
For the first time in 6 years, the New York Jets visited the Big Rectangle known as Colorado. On that previous visit, the Broncos were at the franchise's all-time pinnacle and two weeks away from pummeling the Atlanta Falcons for a second consecutive Super Bowl win. Super Bowl prognosticators were abundant Sunday night as the Broncos rolled the Jets and the playoff idea didn't seem too far-fetched.

It's premature, but recent talk of the Donkies has evoked comparisons to the glory years of 1997-1998. An obvious parrallel was in the 27-0 blanking. The last time the Broncos pitched a shutout was in November 1997. The Jets game was being presented as a "trap" game and the media was all over it. The only thing missing was a pre-game video segment from everybody's favorite intergalactic cephalopod, Admiral Ackbar, warning "It's a Trap!". But now the only "trap" in Denver is to avoid past comparisons and try to forge a new identity.

The Jets are usually a good place to start. They've used 5 quarterbacks and have had more lineup changes than an incompetent NYPD detective. Starting QB Brooks Bollinger was walloped with a concussion early in the game and was sent to the sidelines to puke. The Jets contracted a case of Vinnie Testaverde and proceeded to puke all over the Invesco Field turf. On Testaverde's first drive, he fumbled the QB-center snap exchange, proving that lack of familiarity with a comrade's ass can be a problem in any job. Testaverde eventually was able to receive a few snaps on his ensuing drives, but after a few tosses to Justin McCareins, he found the wide-open John Lynch and Champ Bailey. An leg injury forced Vinnie to the bench and the Jets were down to Kliff Kingsbury (a former Bronco, albeit for two weeks on the practice squad in September). Assuming he didn't win "Survivor", Gary Hogeboom should check his answering machine this week, just to be on the safe side. Jets coach Herman Edwards had the following brain-tickling quote: "We're struggling on offense, and it's very difficult to win in this league if you can't score". The Institute of the Obvious has also recently released a study that says it's hard to win games when the other team scores more points than you.

The Jets were limted to roughly 5 minutes of ball posession in the first half. Mike Anderson and his friends plowed along for 80 and 96 yard drives. Time was killed so quickly that CBS wasn't able to air a single commercial break until 10 minutes were left in the second quarter! The Donkies worked quicker than Roy Oswalt and made it next to impossible for CBS to even squeeze in their crappy in-game promos. The Broncos' offensive line are my personal saviors. When it was over, Anderson, Bell and even Cecil Sapp (!) to 196 yards on the ground. In the "passes game" Ashley Lelie and Rod Smith both had typical games for themselves. The only disappointment was that Bradlee Van Pelt wasn't able to get into the game.

Jake Plummer had another steady game and extended his franchise-record interception-less streak. A mark previously held by some guy who owns a buncha' car dealerships around Denver. Plummer now has two of the more impressive franchise passing marks: most attempts without a pick and single-game pasisng yardage. The second came last season in an ugly drubbing from the Falcons, but what're ya' gonna' do? Plummer fumbled on a fourth-down dive, but a good defense can nullify those types of errors. He also lost his helmet while trying to escape a sack in the second half-- if nothing else, a photo of a helmet-less Plummer will probably be a popular JPG sent around the Internet this week.

During the game, A significant change occurred on the sidelines. The Broncos' cheerleaders and, of course, Renee Herlocker, probably played their last pants-less game of the season. The weather was in the low 60's at kickoff time and the crew was able to appear in their usual mini-skirts. However, at halftime they switched to long pants and chaps. With two home games left in the season, the world may have seen the last of Renee Herlocker's thighs until next August. Not an offical NFL stat, but sadly, I know that's the only thing most people reading this page care about.

I'm shocked to say it, but for the first time in five years, the Broncos have met my expectations. At 8-2, the WORST they can do is my pre-season prediction of 8-8. With the overrated Pittsburgh Steelers at 7-3 and tied with the Bengals, Denver now has the inside track on the #2 seed in the AFC. That would get 'em a home field playoff game and another week of Renee Herlocker appearances (in pants, most liekly). Tough to avoid the "trap" of talking about the playoffs. Actually, there's one BIG trap once they get in-- Indianapolis.

FINAL CUTS
...||...Tough typing this week. For the first time in almost a year, I'm working on a Monday (yes, kids, when you get rich n' famous and run a crappy website like ME, you have 3-day weekends every week!). Even tougher is that we've shuffled our office space and I've been pushed into a corner-- one which EVERYBODY walks by. I'm trying to avoid the comparisons to the movie Office Space and Milton Waddams. "Yeah..we need ya' to push your desk as far back into that corner as possible". Come to think of it, my stapler's missing, too....

...||... Toyota has a commercial for their Tundra truck, where they drop nails, a bathtub, a boat, cinder blocks and about 8,000 lbs. of crap onto their truck. The funny thing is the disclaimer at the bottom of the screen saying "do no attempt". Because everybody I know has 8,000 lbs of crap that they can drop in an orderly fashion onto their truck from 100 feet in the air.

...||... Terrell Owens in Denver? Why? Besides, the guy wants to play in Atlanta. He'll find a way to bitch n' moan and he'll end up catching passes from Michael Vick next season. Then, two years from now, Owens will find something else to bitch about.

...||... Yes, I am aware and ecstatic that Lenny Walls is being shown the door. Enjoy thumping your chest after being in the general vicinity of an overthrown pass out in Oakland, you worthless immature thug.

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Back to Broncos 2005 Index

2005 Season Archive
August 20 vs 49ers
August 27 vs Colts
September 02 vs Cardinals
September 11 vs Dolphins
September 18 vs Chargers
September 26 vs Chiefs
October 2 vs Jaguars
October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots
October 23 vs Giants
October 30 vs Eagles
November 6 vs Bye Week
November 13 vs Raiders
November 20 vs Jets
November 24 vs Cowboys
December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens
December 17 vs Bills
December 24 vs Raiders
December 31 vs Chargers
January 10 vs Bye Week
January 14 vs Patriots
January 22 vs Steelers
YEAR-END AWARDS
2006 NFL Draft Recap