Sports- NFL - 2005 - Denver Broncos vs. Buffalo Bills and Bernie Kukar

		SPORTS-(BRONCOS) 12/17/05 vs. Buffalo Bills (W 28-17) The Broncos made a cross-country flight to the tempid climates of Buffalo, Saturday night. Temperarature was 28 degrees at kickoff, at which time weather updates apparently stop. With a slick field and frigid conditions, the rumor was that Ted Williams was on hand for the opening coin toss. The chill must have stuck with the Broncos, because it wasn't until the third quarter that they began playing their usual game. ----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Illegal sentence structure, last paragraph. Will replay the paragraph. Breeeet! Sorry about that. Champ Bailey made a key play in the second when he knocked Bills receiver Josh Reed short of a... ----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Please reset the game clock to 12:05. 12:05... thank you. It took awhile, but the Broncos finally pulled away when Ashley Lelie made a stellar over-the-shoulder catch, deep in Buffalo territory. Three plays later, Mike Shanahan went deep into the playbook and called a 1-yard TD pass to rookie Wesley Duke. Duke, who hadn't even been in uniform..----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- We are reviewing the previous sentence to check for legibility. Breeeeet! Huh? Oh well, like I was saying, it was another innovative TD call, right up there with previous plays involving Dwayne Carswell and Bradlee----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Inelligible player in the paragraph. Penalizing 15 yards from the spot of the pargraph. Will replay the paragraph. The hell? Can't you see I'm trying o type here, you fucktard? ----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Unsportsmanlike conduct, number 81...will replay the paragraph. Number 81? Who the hell..----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Correction: there is no number on the penalty. No number. breeeeet! Thanks... now if I can just----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- We're reviewing the paragraph to determine the spot of the new paragraph. justrealquick I wanna' talk about RodSmith andhowhehada a good game and----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Improper use of slang. 2 sentence penalty, will mark off from the spot of the previous play. ----Bernie walks over and converses with his Legion of Referees---- Can I mention Mike Anderson's 97 yards and 2 TD's?! ----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Inelligible use of first person prose. 3 paragraph penalty. As the game wound down, there was even a desperate fan who ran onto the field for a quick soiree with the security personnel. The poor guy----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Negligence of time frame and illegal jumping around of game stories. 2 paragraph penalty. Oh for shit's sake, you douchebag, it's my fucking ----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- Personal foul. Cursing. UN-writer-like conduct. 15 paragraph penalty. Fuck it... I'm calling the league office on Tuesday, you fucking whithered-up old coot!! ----breeeet! Special announcement from Referee Bernie Kukar---- We are reviewing the column..... FINAL CUTS ...\|\|Oh yeah, because you trolls care: Renee Herlocker is part of a 5-disc DVD set, available at Cardio Cheer, put out by Paula Abdul. It'll only set you back 74.95. Quoting from the site: "Renee Herlocker of the Denver Broncos squad has all the moves and, after putting in your time with the routines on this disc, so will you. The emphasis is on making clean, sharp movements while always keeping a smile. From basic claps to lunges, the High V and Low V, dagger position and reaches, your moves will sparkle with the assurance of a pro. Fun has never been so precise". You can also visit the site's "Pictures" page for your new Renee Herlocker pictures. Okay, then...got my weekly site referrals out of the way. ...\|\|...Only in Chicago: a QB comes on, goes 9-for-16, throws an interception and he's instantly annointed as the savior of the Bears. ...\|\|...Triple-A game of the week (if the NFL had a Triple A): Cleveland beat Oakland 9-7. Usually NFL Films adds the slow-motion effect, but this game came with it already provided! Steve Sabol thanks them. ...\|\|...Phone Call From Me to Satan on Monday Morning: Me: Hey Lou, how's it goin?" Satan: Don't call me Lou you asshole. It's fucking fine down here Me: Okay...how's the weather? Satan: It's fucking hot, you moron! What'd you think? Me: Okay, I just heard that SEATTLE has home-field advantage, so I wanted to make sure it wasn't snowing down there Satan: Blow me, you pus-bucket! --click-- Comment about this article. Contact The Asshole Who Wrote This! Back to Broncos 2005 Index 2005 Season Archive August 20 vs 49ers August 27 vs Colts September 02 vs Cardinals September 11 vs Dolphins September 18 vs Chargers September 26 vs Chiefs October 2 vs Jaguars October 9 vs Redskins October 16 vs Patriots October 23 vs Giants October 30 vs Eagles November 6 vs Bye Week November 13 vs Raiders November 20 vs Jets November 24 vs Cowboys December 4 vs Chiefs December 11 vs Ravens December 17 vs Bills December 24 vs Raiders December 31 vs Chargers January 10 vs Bye Week January 14 vs Patriots January 22 vs Steelers YEAR-END AWARDS 2006 NFL Draft Recap
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