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10/02/06 vs. Bye Week Yet, I've never longed to see the two mixed together. Which brings us to this year's Bye-Week Special. Worse than NFL Superpro or Tank McNamara, it's the dreaded Denver Broncos Comic Book! Available all over the city in January 1988, this thing was released right before Super Bowl 22. You could find it at every grocery store, gas station or corner t-shirt tent. It was apparently produced with a box of Crayolas for a second grade art project. I mean, where else could you find such quality depictions:
I guess the Broncos gave up traditional football helmets and switched to skateboard helmets. Looks like something a kid would doodle on the margins of his Pee-Chee folder and it makes Popeye cartoons look like scientific lessons on human anatomy. At least they stayed inside the lines. I'm surprised that every picture doesn't have arrows pointing down to each figure, detailing what they're supposed to be. Y'know, when you'd be asked to draw a portrait of your family in elementary school, so you'd draw little identification arrows above each character. "Mommy", "Doggy", etc.
The story's even worse. It's a panel-ized recollection of the famous 1986 AFC Championship game, featuring "The Drive". You know the drill--- the Broncos drove 98 yards in the final minutes to tie the game. I'll give the comic writers some credit, as they correctly recall each play, down and distance. But the included narration is just as bad as the supposed "art". Sample script: "Like scenes from a nightmare, the Denver offense watched as (Ken) Bell bobbled the ball. A solid wall of Cleveland Browns bearing down on him. Please, GOD, don't let him fumble. Not now." Actually, the Denver offense was probably thinking: "you stupid mutherfucker!!". GOD gets quite alot of pub in the story, as he's cited a few more times. John Elway enters the huddle and says "If we work hard...good things will happen". Good to know.... Elway's not only the QB, he also spouts morals from He-Man cartoons. There's even the "would seem incredibly awkward, out-of-context" picture of the week:
I wish I could find ONE decent quote or picture in this book, but it's just painful. We also get special apearances by Dan Reeves and Marty (Lombardi) Schottenheimer. Unfortunately, Pat Bowlen and his floor-length fur coat were omitted. At times, player names are scribbled on the back of characters. Almost as if the creators of this book wanted to show us that they DID watch the game. They even tried to include the snow, as you can see in this shot of Elway being chased by "Frank Minnifield":
Well, you probably know how this story ended. Elway connected with Mark Jackson to tie the score and send it into overtime. In overtime, Rich Karlis kicked a controversial field goal and the Broncos were on their way to Pasadena for Super Bowl 21. It didn't end well, as they were hammered by the Giants, but "The Drive" still remains one of the NFL's signature moments. No less than the Pro Football Hall of Fame has an exhibit dedicated to the feat. It inspired the entire town in many ways. Most folks were just happy, but a coupla' guys were so inspired that they cracked open their crayons and made a comic. After the main feature, the comic has a few pages of text regarding the (then) recently retired Tom Jackson and Steve Foley. Nothing too meaty-- just a basic career rundown and fluff job. It also has another page dedicated to "coaching greats" Dan Reeves and Red Miller. At that time, they were the only two coaches who had directed Denver to a Super Bowl. The book concludes with another short comic entitled "Decision as Palo Alto". Once again, it covers Elway. Specifically his decision to skip baseball and screw over the Baltimore Colts for the Broncos in the 1983 NFL Draft. This story includes a fairly accurate depiction of Elway:
That's.... suprisingly accurate! Even today, the Denver Broncos Comic Book can easily be found in local bargain bins. The thing was over-produced and never became the collectible it aspired to be. Even if the Broncos had won Super Bowl 22, it's such a shoddy production that nobody would have coveted it. It didn't help that it had a 2.50 cover price in 1987! Arguably, this is one of the worst comic books ever produced (and that's considering "Tiger-Man"). The creative team, "Sports Action Comics", returned a few years later for another local production-- this one was about the University of Colorado's 1990 National Title win. While reading the credits, I noticed that the company's address was roughly 13th and Delaware in downtown Denver... about one block from where I worked for six years. Unless you're a hardcore Bronco fan, avoid this book at all costs. I have trouble picking up this rag...and I'm a guy who played hooky to see the 4-11 last place Broncos play the Green Bay Packers in subzero conditions in December 1990. Comment about this article. Contact The Asshole Who Wrote This!
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