G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #270

Writer: Larry Hama
Pencils: Netho Diaz

Summary

Zartan helps the Baroness and Destro escape from Revanche HQ, with the help of the Dreadnok Thunder Machine and some surgical strikes from Road Pig’s cinder-block hammer. Revanche’s Alpha-001 is still aware of it all, and is not down for the count, yet. This sub-plot MUST continue!

The Joe contingents in the Pit, Fort Wadsworth and even in Ellen Bogen’s shop are told to “stand down” by the Department of Defense. Yet everybody instantly finds a loophole, as they all request to cash in their leave time.

Since they can’t use official GI Joe vehicles, Clutch has something of a surprise for Wade Collins, Stalker and Rock & Roll– they can use Bongo the Balloon Bear’s van, which has been restored by Clutch.

Oh, the Oktober Guard, Cobra Commander, Dr. Mindbender and even Laura 343 all continue TALKING.

Notes

• As Our Pal, Dan mentioned: this issue confirms that Heavy Metal is back from the dead, as he’s addressed by that name.
  On his Facebook page, Hama owned up to the Crankcase mistake and said he simply forgot that the character was dead.
• At this point, I’d say the only characters who are “dead” are BattleForce 2000 (including Dodger).
• As expected, I’m sure the “everybody requesting leave” crowd shot (and one or two more, somewhere in the next 5 issues) will be used to cover the claim of “ever living member of the team” appearing in this arc.
• It’s very hard to identify everyone in the crowd shot. I’ve included my best guesses and listed them all in the “Appearances” section, below. If you see one I missed, please let me know in the “Comments” and you’ll get some Cool Points.
• Dr. Mindbender is still working on upgrading the Brainwave Scanner so it can mess with Snake-Eyes (Throwdown). I dunno’, but if you have this BIG PLAN to kidnap and brainwash “Snake-Eyes”…don’t you think you would’ve done the Scanner’s upgrades before putting things in motion? I know, Cobra Commander’s an impulsive, EVIL, cartoon villain, so we should just let it go….
• Another may or may not be a slip-up: as the Thunder Machine arrives, it looks like Thrasher is driving it… yet we also see Thrasher on the back of the vehicle, next to Buzzer. Word balloons identify that it’s “Zarana” driving the Thunder Machine. But it sure looks like there are two Thrashers. I guess you can chalk it up to the lighting, making Zarana’s orange hair appear dark brown. Okay then…
• Once again, a mission is shot down by a phonecall from the supposed Jugglers (or some other mysterious government entity). I’ve complained about it before, but this cop-out or “stand down” order has been a recurring plot crutch for over 35 years now. At this point, it’s not frustrating, it’s simply insulting to the reader.
• Rumbler makes an appearance, looking a little more like the actual figure. See issue 80’s recap for more info— but when someone named “Rumbler” appeared, before, he looked more like the figure “Armadillo”, the Rolling Thunder driver.
• Also, because I’m a nerd for it: the Bomb Disposal Unit makes its second appearance in a quick Easter Egg cameo in the Pit. It first appeared in issue 161.
• “Backstop” is mentioned, by name, and while I’m not sure exactly which tiny background image is supposed to be him, it’s safe to say he’s in there somewhere.
• Cover Girl appears, sitting in her Wolverine tank. What’s notable is that she appears to have long BLONDE hair, like her early 1983 cartoon counterpart. I think we’ve said it before, but it’s perfectly believable that she got a new hairdo and had it colored.
• A reader writes and casually mentions that “other characters, like Thunder, are not seen for months”. As mentioned in issue 259, Thunder has been dead for awhile. Of all the characters/figures for someone to get attached to, THUNDER is popular? That’s like saying your favorite baseball player is someone who played 3 games for your team in 1985.
• Can’t remember where I read it over on HISSTANK.com, but someone suggested that Laura 343 will be the Scarlett to Throwdown’s Snake-Eyes. Have to agree with that.

Appearances

Characters (figures): Hawk, Duke, Stalker, Rock and Roll, Clutch, Dial-tone, Psyche-Out, Mainframe, Lady Jaye, Heavy Metal, Rampage, Backstop, Steeler, Law & Order, Wild Bill, Rumbler, Scarlett, Helix, Budo, Cover Girl, Roadblock, Lifeline, Repeater (cameo), Leatherneck (cameo), Lift-ticket (cameo), Airborne (cameo), Grunt (cameo), Gung Ho (cameo), Tollbooth (cameo), Torpedo (cameo), Beach-head (cameo), Alpine (cameo), Keel-Haul (cameo), Flash (cameo), Bazooka (cameo), Cobra Commander, Dr. Mindbender, Zartan, Destro, Crystal Ball, Baroness, Zarana, Zandar, Buzzer, Ripper, Thrasher, Road Pig, Col. Brekhov, Horrorshow, Daina, Schrage, Stormavik, Dragonsky

Characters (comic-only): Throwdown (“Snake-Eyes”), Demon Granny, Dawn Moreno, Milo, Joe Colton, Jane, Laura 343

Vehicles (toys): MOBAT, VAMP II, Slugger, Wolverine, Armadillo Mini-tank, AWE Striker, APC, Cobra HISS

Vehicles (not toys): GI Joe C-130, Bongo the Balloon Bear’s Van

Firsties: none

Rating: 2 Flag Points