G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #9

“The Diplomat”

Writer: Steven Grant
Penciller: Mike Vosburg

Summary

After Stalker, Breaker and some un-detailed Joes raid a Cobra safehouse in Nebraska, they discover a tape threatening an assassiantion on a diplomat Brian Hassell. Hassell is a key figure in negotiations with an emisarry from the Middle Eastern country of Al-Alawi. Hawk assigns Stalker and Snake-Eyes to find more info on the assasination plot, while Scarlett and CLUTCH are assigned to protect Hassell. They save Hassell from several half-hearted attacks from Cobra. Scuba divers, car chases, plane crashes plane crashes and other vehicular hi-jinks.

Following leads to London, Stalker walks into a trap and hears from a Cobra Commander hologram that Hassell is really a Cobra agent. Once again, Cobra isn’t going the obvious route. Hassell reveals himself to Scarlett and Clutch right as the trio arrives at the Al-Alwai meeting in the French Alps. Cobra flunkies tie up the Joes and toss them in a shed while Hassell prepares for his meeting and assasination attempt. Of course, the Joes escape and Scarlett manages to make a dramatic last minute entry, via skiis, into the negotiations.Hassell still manages to pop a cap into the Al-Alawi emissary’s gut… but the emissary was prepared and sporting a bullet-proof vest. Hassell is taken away as the rest of the Joes arrive. Meanwhile, back at Cobra Central, the Commander is flippant about the failure. He’s simply amused that this “game” did not go his way.

Notes:

• Definitely more of a James Bond story than anything else. This type of story would’ve been featured in “Special Missions” if it was released after 1986.
• Scarlett first shadows Hassell on a beach in the French Riviera, wearing a bikini. It’s a small panel and there’s nothing cheescake-ish about it. But if this story were published today, it’d be a full-page spread.
• Fun scene where Clutch is buried in the sand, up to his neck. He saves Scarlett and Hassell from the Cobra scuba divers by popping out of the sand with a machine gun.
• Cobra Scuba Divers?! I suppose this could be the first appearance of the Eel division… but that’s really stretching.
• Scarlett is strongly opposed to teaming up with Clutch– the disgusting meatball who’s been hitting on her. But Clutch is fairly straight-forward in his mission and doesn’t flirt much.
• Regardless of the bikini, this story was probably when Scarlett began replacing Daphne from Scooby-Doo as my Most Favoritest Cartoon or Comic Chick. She really kicks ass in this story. Usually I’d shy away from female characters, since they were “icky girls”, but I was okay with Scarlett as the lead, here.
• The Cobra soldiers all have the Cobra emblem on the side of their helmets. The emblem’s not drawn correctly, either, as it looks more like a horseshoe.
• During their investigation to London, Stalker and Snake-Eyes encounter Derek Sutherland, head of Sutherland Munitions, a weapons supplier to Cobra. After reporting to Cobra Commander, Sutherland is shocked through a computer screen and dies. You could No-Prize this and say that Sutherland’s death led Cobra to seek a NEW weapons supplier… presumably some guy with a silver mask and an appreciation for open shirts with medallions.
• Cobra Commander is again presented like Dr. Doom. He appears as a hologram and seems to have all sorts of deathtraps rigged through computers. He’s a ruthless, scheming, calculating and competent villain. Makes you wonder why he began out-sourcing and bringing in clowns like Zartan or Dr. Mindbender.
• Not sure why Larry Hama was absent from the last two issues. He was doing alot of stuff for Marvel at the time, so deadlines are a strong possibility. But he returns next issue with some VERY interesting stuff, then uncorks a pretty big storyline for the next year or so. So I say the break definitely helped.
• The letters page has some interesting tidbits. First, the editor drops the fact that they’re currently working on five 30-second animated commercials for the comic. If memory serves right, these would be issues 11, 14, 16, 18 and 19.
• Also in the letters page, a fan praises the book’s futuristic and non-traditional approach to military comics, saying: “this is what war will be like in the future. The enemy will be terrorists”.
• A final letter asks the editor which character is named “G.I.Joe”. Grrrr! That’s an easy way to piss off fans of the 80’s line: ask them “which one is Joe?!”

Appearances:

Characters (with figures): Hawk, Stalker, Snake-Eyes, Breaker, Scarlett, Clutch, Cobra Commander

Characters (no action figures, or “comic-only” characters): Brian Hassell, the Al-Alwai emmissary.

Vehicles and stuff (toys): Surprisingly, none
Vehicles and stuff (not toys): A “Joe Plane”– looks like a McDonnell Douglas X-36 experimental plane, with two sets of squared-off wings. They were actually first seen in Stalker’s pin-up page in Issue #1. They wouldn’t last long, since the SkyStriker would debut a few months later.

Firsties:
Vehicles (toys): None
Vehicles (not toys): The “Joe Plane”

Rating: 3 Flag Points